YEAR 2067. BAUDOLINO LEARNS THE SECRET OF THE UNIVERSAL HARMONY
Based on FIERCE INVALIDS HOME FROM HOT CLIMATES by TOM ROBBINS
SYNOPSIS
In 2067 the world is in turmoil. People fight for rights,
countries for resources. A free-spirited CIA agent learns the
secret of ending the turmoil but gets under he spell of an
omen. While pursuing a prioress's charms, he hopes to clear
the omen.
STORY
About to be rejuvenated from 70 to 30, Auntie wants her aging
parrot to be rejuvenated, as well, amongst the young
cockatoos of the Amazonian jungle. Baudolino, her nephew,
should release the bird on his upcoming CIA mission to Lima.
Lima is rife with violent riots. Teenagers rally for access
to governmental power, mature people for freedom to ransack
Amazon's gold. At the restaurant in Lima, the prospective
recruit, lame son of the President, rants against his younger
stepbrother, the favorite of the President. At the hotel,
while Baudolino reviews the analytics of the recorded
meeting, the parrot gets excited by streamed videos of the
jungle's cockatoos. Moved by the bird's emotional display,
Baudolino takes the bird into the depth of the Amazonian
jungle.
At the camp of a Nahua tribe, Pyramid Head shaman turns out
to be a woman. Impressed by the pyramidal shape of the cage
and the aging parrot, she offers to disclose the secret of
ending the world's turmoil. The secret comes with an omen
though: Bardolino will have to walk in life two feet above
the ground or die. He smirks about the omen and, under the
spell of Ayahuasca, learns the secret: The key to the world's
harmony is… Laughter! The next day, he wakes up with fits of
laughter at the laughing secret, but witnesses the death of
an ethnographer who was subject to a similar omen.
Back in Seattle, strapped in a wheelchair, he is fired from
C.I.A. At the house of the rejuvenated bossy aunt, his
friend, an agency higher-up, offers him an unofficial
undercover job in Somaliland, just to clear his mind.
Somaliland had become a monarchy, and Saudi Arabia, India,
and Japan compete for rare metals mining concessions. Bedouin
families support different competitors, and Baudolino is to
deliver protective sonic equipment to a Huda clan. His
wheelchair and the Unlimited Friendship Organization - U.F.O.
- charitable foundation promoting camel milking equipment and
milk derivatives would be excellent mission covers.
In Somaliland, he delivers the goods, but the clan flees
during a drone sonic attack. Deafened, and with the laptop
and phone busted, he manages to roll to the gate of a
convent. He spends two days in the scorching heat until the
nuns decide to give him temporary shelter.
The nuns are actually sisters in a highly diverse ethnic and
religious belief group. Domino, the prioress, is puzzled by
his ability to walk on stilts and skillfully shut down
attacking sonic drones, despite his lame camel milk
promoter's job and the handicap implied by the wheelchair.
Not curious about his story nor interested in "knowing him
better," she ignores his pointed advances. On a vesper night,
he witnesses the trance of a black punk sister who has the
vision of Black Madonna's prophecy about the harmony of
humanity. And what is the key to that? Laughter!
The temporary shelter is long overdue, and Baudolino is about
to get on the truck to Djibouti. At the last moment, the
prioress changes her mind. "I'm curious!" she says. He
finally tells her who he is and about the sha-woman's secret
and omen. The prioress is struck by the similarity between
the sha-woman's secret and sister's prophecy vision. She
lures him into a heathen omen dispel, helped by two sisters.
The dispel works only partially, but she's sure that making
the secret public will completely clear the omen.
They reveal the secret and prophesy at an Eschatology
conference. Would the world take laughter seriously?
SCRIPT
INT. HOSPITAL - REJUVENATING ROOM - DAY
Biosensors with short antennas on a shaved head, heavy makeup
on a wrinkled face, two intravenous ports and thin tubes from
them on the upper jaws, LEDs blinking on a neck collar and
ear buds.
Covered by a shiny blanket, AUNTIE (70), lies in a
transparent, half-open cylinder and browses on a tablet.
Wires and tubes run through the cylinder to her body. She is
a control freak on everything, including her age. Above the
cylinder, a monitor runs images of the "BLISS KLEANIK"
sophisticated building architecture and rejuvenating ads.
Balloons with intravenous liquids of various colors hang on
medical poles, and tubes run from them through the cylinder
and to the baseplate. Colored wires run through the cylinder
toward the ceiling and down to a baseplate. The ceiling wires
are bundled on trays and run toward TWO large DIGITAL HEADS
UP DISPLAYS (HUD). On the wall to the right, a tall mirror.
TWO TECHNICIANS, clothed in transparent, hermetic medical
coveralls, "BLISS KLEANIK" and logo on the back, survey and
key-in data in the HUDs.
At the top of HUD 1, a horizontal 3D HUMAN ANATOMY forms
inside the phantom lines of the cylinder and baseplate.
Below, DNA structures revolve and data rapidly change.
Colored MARKS pop on the ANATOMY, THIN LINES connect the
MARKS to the DNA structures, and THICK LINES connect the
MARKS to the cylinder and baseplate.
Technician 1 and 2 consult via Bluetooth audio devices.
On HUD 2, AGE FUTURE "70" flashes. Technician 2 pulses a
control until the number gets to "30". DAY ONE "ON" flashes,
DAY TWO through DAY SEVEN are dark. He surveys the patient's
medical data, CRYOGENIC CYCLES and IV AGENTS 1 through 15
controls. Steady-state and dynamic plots refresh, lists of
alphanumeric data and codes continuously change.
A "VISITOR" sign flashes on the HUD and above the mirror.
Technician 2 touches a control and looks over. The mirror
changes to the transparent window of a booth. BAUDOLINO (30),
smiles and waves from it. He is a spirited man who
could get distracted by curiosity, in general, and women in
particular.
Auntie turns her head toward the booth, selects "Accept
Visitor," on her tablet, and looks up at -- Baudolino's
smiling face on the overhead monitor.
VISITOR'S BOOTH - CONTINUOUS
Baudolino looks at Auntie's face displayed to the left of the
window. In the rejuvenation room, the medical staff goes
through the rejuvenation treatment protocols.
On the right, video, audio, and other digital controls.
Through the backside side of the booth glass, a long corridor
with high-end design chandeliers, furniture, and two rows of
reflective glass booths. A couple of PEOPLE get in or come
out from them.
BAUDOLINO
Auntie-Bounty! You'll get upgraded
to a young chick, and people will
think you are my new girlfriend.
AUNTIE (V.O)
(through speakers)
Stop calling me Auntie! You...
Bandolion!
(coarse laughter)
REJUVENATING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Happy about the nickname she found, Auntie laughs looking up
at the monitor. On the monitor, Baudolino fakes a laughter.
AUNTIE
(assertive)
I called you on the double before
you got engulfed in your next
trick. I want you to --
She gets interrupted by a human shape bending over the
cylinder. In a hermetic, transparent coverall IDed as "YOUTH
DOCTOR WOO", DOCTOR WOO (20), baby face, produces a marketing
smile. She tells something to the NURSE, also in hermetic
coverall, who sprays -- Auntie's face and gently wipes off
her makeup. Auntie is displeased.
Technician 2 touches the flashing "AIR PURITY" control on HUD
2, while Doctor Woo holds the dirty wipe with disdain.
DOCTOR WOO
(pressing a button on the
helmet; voice through
speakers)
You'll not need it, one week --
LOUD ALARM
(repetitive; through
speakers)
-- Detection. Olfactory bird
chromosome.
Doctor Woo jolts and, with ample body language, berates the
Technicians through the Bluetooth devices.
The Technicians respond with body language of surrender,
finger-pointing at Auntie, then nodding towards the back of
the room.
In a pyramidal wire cage, an OLD PARROT agitated by the
alarm flaps its molted feathers.
PARROT
(croaked)
Gente del mundo, relax!
Technician 2 stops the "AIR PURITY" alarm and starts the
"PURGE AIR" control.
VISITOR'S BOOTH - CONTINUOUS
BAUDOLINO
(mocking)
Are you also rejuvenating the old
family member?
In the rejuvenation room, Doctor Woo gesticulates at the
Technicians and Nurse.
REJUVENATING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
AUNTIE
(impatient)
You are! You'll have to release him
in Pilcopata... a parrots' heaven --
She scrolls on the TABLET: colorful parrots flying in the
jungle's trees.
VISITOR'S BOOTH - CONTINUOUS
AUNTIE
(through speakers)
-- beautiful, young --
BAUDOLINO
(brightly)
-- rejuvenate by mingling with
young chicks?
AUNTIE
(through speakers; on side
screen; smartly)
I knew you'd understand!
BAUDOLINO
Pilcopata, huh? -- Sorry, no time
to bungle in the jungle! It's just
an in and out... trick.
REJUVENATING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Doctor Woo nods briskly at the Nurse and Technicians. The
latter turn toward their HUDs.
The Nurse looks at the parrots' video on Auntie's tablet
while trying to grab the tablet. Auntie resists.
AUNTIE
(looking up at the
monitor; deriding)
Oh, you and your intelligence...
saving the world! Start with a
smaller deed --
The Nurse manages to yank the tablet.
AUNTIE
(to Nurse and Baudolino;
flustered)
-- show some compassion!
Doctor Woo smiles unctuously at Auntie and Baudolino, then
turns and says something to Technician 2 then 1. The latter
walks to the back of the room.
Technician 2 touches a spot on HUD 2, the visitor's glass
turns reflective, and the monitor above the casket turns back
to the Bliss Kleanik building and ads.
Holding the parrot's cage, Technician 1 is on his way out of
the room.
PARROT
(croak)
Mooomaaghhr!
The Nurse closes and locks the cylinder lid. Cryogenic vapors
gradually fill the casket.
INT. AIRCRAFT - PASSENGER CABIN - DAY
The "Fasten Your Seat Belts" sign blinks. PASSENGERS stand
up, open the baggage bins, ignoring the blinking sign.
Baudolino, in a white linen business suit, stretches in his
seat.
Except for the reinforcement trusses, the skin of the
aircraft is transparent. Lima's downtown skyscrapers are
projected against the sunset's light.
The plane lands smoothly on the tarmac.
INT. LIMA AIRPORT - LATER
The cloth-covered parrot's cage wiggles.
Backpack on, Baudolino carries it in one hand, a metallic
suitcase in the other.
He walks along the backs of armed SECURITY GUARDS. They watch
the crowd of PEOPLE, many with BUBBLE HELMETS on, waiting in
long, tortuous Customs lines.
At an unmarked door, Baudolino sets his face in front of an
eye scanner. The door unlatches and smoothly opens.
SECURITY ROOM
Behind the counter, the CIA OFFICER (40) looks questioningly
at the cage.
BAUDOLINO
(funny)
Business asset.
He lays the cage on the floor and hands over his -- blue
passport, black wallet, and phone.
The officer verifies his credentials, looks at a monitor,
types on a keyboard, fumbles under the desk, then hands him
over a -- "BOLERU REPUBLIC" brown passport and a cream
colored wallet with Inca motives.
CIA OFFICER
(funny)
Bien venidos Paco. Machinery parts
sales are booming.
Baudolino walks towards the far end of a long, white, empty,
silent corridor. Footsteps echo.
He scans his eyes, and the door opens.
EXT. LIMA AIRPORT - CONTINUOUS
Noisy scene. Police car lights flash, park or drive away.
On the bridge above, a strong rally with banners and flags is
in progress. On the street below, Molotov cocktails explode
in flames. A police car is burning. From the side of a road
going up, an armored riot vehicle gushes a stream of water on
demonstrators.
A car stops by Baudolino, and he gets in.
INT. CAR - NIGHT
From the back seat, Baudolino watches demonstrators running.
The DRIVER changes the route when it hits a street blocked by
tires aflame. The car stops on an empty, quiet street by a
hotel. Baudolino gets in.
INT. LIMA - RESTAURANT - LATER
Baudolino enters the restaurant. The noise of the street riot
subsides as he closes the door. He wears a casual jacket
with WHITE HORIZONTAL STRIPES on the sleeves and carries a
shoulder bag. The restaurant is relatively quiet.
Through the restaurant window, RIOTERS carry banners and
placards, portraits, some with crossed-out figures. A short
melee around a fistfight.
Baudolino scans the PATRONS at tables and bar. At the bar,
robotic arms move and pour drinks. Patrons eat or drink, use
mobile phones or tablets, and wear VR headsets or BUBBLE
HELMETS, the latter transparent or reflective.
On the wall behind the bar, the MEDIA WALL monitors stream
sports, ads, entertainment, and news channels.
He recognizes the face of his contact -- head covered by a
transparent bubble helmet -- BABA BONDIEU (35). He is a high
flying socialite with a grudge against his stepbrother.
Phone in hand, Baba sees him, massages his shoulder, and nods
at the coat rack -- a jacket with TWO VERTICAL STRIPES on the
sleeves.
Baudolino scratches his arm below the horizontal stripes on
his jacket sleeve. He takes it off and hangs it next to
Baba's.
Baba moves to the opposite seat of the table and turns his
bubble head to reflective.
Baudolino gets a seat a few tables away, facing Baba. He
looks at the table surface, a DIGITAL DISPLAY with the menu,
TV channels, and advertising websites. He scrolls on the menu
and selects the food and drink.
He gets a collapsed bubble helmet from his shoulder bag, sets
its collar on the clavicle, and flips the articulations with
transparent nano-foil over his head.
From the collar controls, he inflates the bubble, checks the
vent fan, and turns it to reflective.
INSIDE BAUDOLINO'S BUBBLE
(The sound-proof electronic device secures communication
privacy. The nano-foil exterior surface could be switched
between reflective and transparent. The interior surface
mirrors the communication apps controlled from the phone. The
meeting is recorded on the phone.)
Baudolino's fingers type the security credentials on the
phone -- visible through the nano-foil -- and select the
communication apps.
One by one, "Face Biometrics", "Video"-One Way", "Audio",
"Speech-to-Text", "Recording", and digital clock at
"00:00:00:0000" pop up on the nano-foil screen. He keys in a
phone number, and the communication session starts from
"20:15:42:0001".
In the interlocutor's window app, Baba's phone screen briefly
displays photos of nude women.
BAUDOLINO
I need to see your face, not your
character... for now.
The photos are replaced by Baba's face in the "Face
Biometrics", with "Baba Bondieu" name underneath.
BAUDOLINO
Hi. Your story's not convincing...
yet. Too many things that we
already know.
BABA
(through speakers)
How come? -- Stealing from the
government's treasury to bribe
foreign interests? At the expense
of the hard-working people... not
good enough? No accountability, no
legal charges levied, no punishment
for these... special interests?
Baudolino blinks, annoyed. The text scrolls in the "Speech To
Text" app window, and "Recording" blinks.
BABA
Nobody knows if the money goes to
bribe others or... or directly to
their own coffers....
Baudolino is bored by Baba's rant and closes his eyes.
TIME-LAPSE
On the BUBBLE SCREEN: Voice text scrolls faster, and the
digital clock speeds up from 20:26:17:0732 to 20:38:42:0067.
BACK TO SCENE
BABA
... even my father --
Baudolino opens his eyes, alert.
BAUDOLINO
-- Yes, that's interesting.
BABA
He disappeared for a week --
BAUDOLINO
(mocking)
-- went to a bank in Switzerland --
BABA
-- to Madre de Dios jungle -- Came
back with a voodoo priest, locked
themselves in a Gobernio's secluded
room.
BAUDOLINO
What's in that room?
BABA
I have no access.
BAUDOLINO
Do I have the rest of the palace?
BABA
On the flash files, in my jacket.
BAUDOLINO
OK, you were talking about your
father.
BABA
(starts stuttering)
He has a dd-raft announcement of
lowering voting age rights to 16...
to give more p-p-power to...
"Face Biometrics" flashes yellow.
BABA
(furious)
... the tio duro! My stepbrother
President? -- Fuu-f-for life!?
"Face Biometrics" flashes red.
BAUDOLINO
You're right, he is too young. But
it could happen... it did in other
places. But here, we would like
mature people, friendly with us.
BABA
(calming down a bit)
My father wants him at a meeting in
Bogota, to convince Colombia to
join Boleru. But tio duro doesn't
like Colombian gangs here. So,
he'll play dumb to jeopardize the
talks.
BAUDOLINO
That's what you should do as well
if you... you know.
INSIDE BABA'S BUBBLE - CONTINUOUS
Limited apps on display, a black window for Baudolino's face.
BABA
(Furious; Spanish;
subtitled;)
Yes! I shall be numb-b-ber one. I
am the g-g-ood son... Hanan Pacha!
BAUDOLINO
(through speakers)
Right... right -- How about --
BABA
(Furious; Spanish;
subtitled;)
-- The tio duro is Uku Pacha --
BAUDOLINO
-- Yes... Who's at the meeting in
Bogota? What's on the agenda?
BABA
(calming down)
Chinese and Russians are the top
ones. Japan and India would like a
piece of the action from Petro
Boleru...
RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS
A BLACK WAITRESS, sexy, low-cut crop top, approaches to serve
Baudolino's order. Baudolino scrambles on the phone.
INSIDE BAUDOLINO'S BUBBLE - CONTINUOUS
Apps are moved sideways to clear the view to the -- deep
cleavage of the waitress who bends over to serve the food.
BABA (V.O.)
... the first 45 billion contract
for gas and oil -- Just the front
stores...
BAUDOLINO'S IMAGINATION
The waitress's breasts fill up the bubble display in slow
motion. Baba's voice fades. The clock milliseconds and
seconds slow down and stop at 21:08:49:0103.
A tall Japanese singer, flashing sequins of her cut crop top,
sings a modern version of "Milkshake," swinging, wagging her
bosom.
The waitress leaves, in slow motion, and the clock restarts
rapidly from 21:08:49:0103 to 21:10:41:0278.
BACK TO SCENE
BAUDOLINO
(watching the waitress'
butt)
The front and the back stores --
BABA (V.O.)
-- What?
He restores the apps on the bubble screen.
BAUDOLINO
Get back to the contract, the front
stores... give me more details.
BABA
The Russians' old Zahvat Maslo
Vlasti, got fresh competition from
China's Youchi Gānjìng de Meitan
and Japan's Kampan Ekika Metan.
....The first two are about to
expand all the way to the border
with the last pristine, deep jungle
area by Pilcopata... a birds'
haven --
BAUDOLINO
-- that's good for my cockatoo!
BABA ON DISPLAY
(confused)
What about your cock?
BAUDOLINO
I said cockatoo... parrot! An
insider's joke. -- Do you have the
map of the contract blocks?
BABA ON DISPLAY
On the flash, new Camisea gas
Blocks 119 and 132 in Cusco -- You
should have a closer look at them.
BAUDOLINO
Not on this mission. I'm to report
just on your credibility and
material.
RESTAURANT - LATER
He depressurizes the bubble, flips back the nano-foil
articulation, and takes it off. He switches the communication
session to the phone and turns on the -- blue tooth ear buds
flickering. He starts eating.
Baba raises his hands, wondering.
BABA (O.S.)
Are we done?
BAUDOLINO
(covering his mouth)
No, no... just eating -- What's the
driving power behind the rallies?
Swallowing, he scrolls through the TV channels on the table
and stops on -- a rock and roll video.
Outside, through the restaurant window, the riot escalates.
The RIOTERS wave flags and "ES NUESTRO ORO", "SENDERO
JUVENTUD" banners. SOLDIERS deploy with their backs along the
restaurant window.
On the media wall, TV channels broadcast fighting at the
Palacio de Gobierno, where rioters escalate the wrought iron
fence, and the presidential Dragoon Guards shoot at them.
BABA (O.S.)
Watch Channel 52! That answers
your question.
Baudolino sweeps to it on the table display.
ON DISPLAY: A gang is surrounded by the police at the corner
of a street -- channel scrolling banner "SENDERO JUVENTUD
ARRESTADO EN EL CALLAO". The broadcast zooms in on Asian faces
and stops on one.
BABA (O.S.)
(in Spanish; subtitled)
That's the tight-ass... lame chief
of the gang.
A high-ranking officer separates the kid from the group and
walks him around the corner -- a POLICEMAN's hand obstructs
the reporter's camera, camera shakes and wobbles. A stretched
limousine pulls over, and the high-ranking officer opens the
door for the kid, bending respectfully. The TV anchor
comments.
BAUDOLINO
Their names?
BABA (O.S.)
On the flash.
A THUD on the window. The nano-glass window elastically molds
over the shape of soldier's military backpack.
The patrons get agitated. A YOUNG MAN (17) bursts into the
restaurant, tosses a banner, stumbles on it while running,
and disappears through the back door.
A SOLDIER, in anti-riot gear rushes into the restaurant and,
rifle at a ready scans the patrons. An OFFICER (50), fat,
walks in.
The Soldier points the rifle at the VR headsets and
reflective bubbles. People remove them, and the Officer scans
their IDs with a phone. Baudolino watches the scene.
Baudolino gets a credit card from -- the cream colored wallet
-- and waves it on the table. He then raises the card for
Baba to see and nods toward -- the jacket in the rack. Baba
acknowledges. Hearing buds blinking in his ears, Baudolino
gets the bubble in the backpack.
The Soldier points the shotgun at Baba's bubble, which --
turns transparent. The Officer looks at Baba's face,
straightens up, and gives him an official salute.
Baba discretely acknowledges and turns the bubble reflective.
Baudolino walks towards the exit, holding the wallet and the
ID visible. The Soldier stops him with the barrel of the
rifle. Baudolino indicates that he'll hand the ID to the
Officer, and the Soldier lets him pass.
BABA (O.S.)
(Baudolino earbuds blink)
That's not the kind of busy that I
like. Let's party!...Check
Ayahuasca in Barranco.
Baudolino hands over his ID to the Officer, who -- scans it,
fumbles with the phone, and scrutinizes Baudolino's face.
BAUDOLINO
(in Spanish; to Baba, for
the Officer to hear;
subtitled)
I'll have to sell your stuff
tonight and check the front stores
tomorrow.
(smiling at the Officer)
Not a good time to party!
The Officer gives Baudolino a blank stare and returns the ID.
Baudolino grabs Baba's jacket -- two vertical stripes -- from
the rack and gets out.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - BATHROOM - NIGHT
Bare chest, Baudolino checks his tired face in the DIGITAL
MIRROR. He's not happy about the face, but flexing his biceps
and pectoral muscles revives his mood.
He touches an icon on the side of the digital mirror, and the
MIRROR turns to MONITOR mode. A burst of noise with more
images of fighting from the rally with guns popping and
Molotov cocktails crushing aflame.
Upset croaking. Baudolino turns the volume down and walks to
the bedroom.
BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
The large DIGITAL WINDOW in MONITOR mode streams rally news.
More croaking from the cloth-covered cage set next to the
window.
Baudolino turns the volume down from the side controls and
uncovers the cage. The bird is agitated. The rally streaming
is replaced by soothing music and tourism advertisements of
beautiful landscapes, pristine rivers running through the
jungle, parrots with colorful feathers flying, and birds
chirping.
The parrot calms down, watches the ads, takes mini-steps on
the perch towards them, then mini-steps back towards
Baudolino, and cocks his head -- sad eye blinks slowly.
Baudolino raises his eyebrows and blinks back at the bird.
He picks up a metal suitcase from the table, the flash drive
from Baba's jacket, and the bubble head collar from the bag.
BATHROOM
On the mirror-MONITOR, live streaming from the rally. He
switches from MONITOR to DEVICE mode, and a list of connected
devices and networks is displayed.
On the suitcase, he touches a fingerprint sensor, opens the
lid -- sales brochures with heavy machinery -- and nests the
bubble collar in its slot. Another sensor touch and the flip
up of the brochure reveal a laptop and electronic gizmos.
On the LAPTOP DISPLAY: list of connected devices and
networks. He blocks them all except for the mirror-DEVICE
icon. He enables the it and the laptop screen is cloned on
the mirror-DEVICE. He bends down to the laptop to scan -- his
eye magnified on the mirror-DEVICE.
On the mirror-DEVICE, CIA security and encryption log-in
protocols start. When completed, he uploads Buba's meeting
records from the phone. When finished, a long list of video,
speech-to-text and language ANALYTICS are displayed.
He briefly stops at the top of the "Emotional State"
analytics: "40% RATIONAL", "30% EMOTION POSITIVE", "30%
EMOTION NEGATIVE". He scrolls to te top of the "Voice-To-Text
analytics: "7 GOVERNMENT CLEPTOMANCY," "6 ARMS SCANDAL," "5
GOLD,""4 OIL," "4 ZAHVAT MASLO VLASTI,""4 VOTING RIGHTS" etc.
He connects Baba's flash drive to the laptop, uploads the
files and reviews Gobierno Palace plans, the lists of
people's names and photos, the maps of "Block 119" and "Block
132" oil fields in CUSCO, and the aerial photos of gas and
oil installations and excavations.
He types in the AGENT SUMMARY box: Potential recruit…
BAUDOLINO
(whispering)
Potential recruit motivated by hate
against his stepbrother, wants to
be the next President. Recommend -–
Sudden rally noise and croaking from the bedroom interrupts him. He
leaves the bathroom.
BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
The live streaming news from Palacio de Gobierno resumed.
Rioters climb the fence and throw Molotov cocktails at the
Dragon Guards. Anti-riot vehicles drench the rioters with
water cannons and deafen them with -- a shrieking LRAD sonic
weapon. Rioters fall down, disperse and regroup.
PARROT
(croaky; agitated)
Gente del mundo, relax!
Baudolino switches the digital windows to DEVICE mode,
chooses "WORLDWEB", and searches "Ayahuasca, Barranco,
Boleru". Live streaming of people dancing, music, strobe, and
laser lights. The parrot moves away on the bar and squawks.
He zooms out from Lima to the Amazon basin, then in on Madre
De Dios river until the marks of "Cusco", "Mazuko", and
"Pilcopata" show up. On the side of the map, helicopter
shuttles and hovercraft ads, videos of the jungle trees,
flowers, monkeys, and colorful parrots.
He opens the cage. The parrot flies out, flaps his wings
along with the parrots' videos, then settles on Baudolino's
shoulder, beak nipping on his ear lobe.
PARROT
(croaky; spreading wings)
Yaaas... Mooomaaghhr!
Baudolino leaves the bedroom.
BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
In the AGENT SUMMARY box he deletes "Recommend" and adds whispering.
BAUDOLINO
Chinese and Russian installations
and new blocks worth looking at. Asking
permission to extend mission.
He waits then thumbs up the granted permission.
EXT/INT. MADRE DE DIOS RIVER - HOVERCRAFT - DAY
Noisy propellers. The hovercraft glides over the river
bordered by the jungle forest. A gimbal drone above follows
its course.
Quiet cockpit. Through the transparent DIGITAL WINDSHIELD,
the pristine river bordered by the luxuriant jungle
vegetation. On the DIGITAL BOARD loaded with navigation
controls and environment data, GPS traces the path of the
hovercraft on a satellite map.
Hands on joysticks, Baudolino watches the video streamed by
the drone on a windshield area.
On the passenger seat, the open case with the laptop on. On
the back seat, the covered parrot's cage.
Baudolino drives the drone higher and watches its video,
flight coordinates, and environment data displayed on the
windshield. Hidden in the jungle, deforested areas with large
pools of yellowish water and shacks. He remotes the drone
over.
People run away from floating platforms with pumps, flexible
pipes, and cascading strainers. Some shoot rifles at the
drone.
On the windshield, the drone environment data blinks a red
flashing "Air composition, 25% Mercury" warning. He recalls
the drone.
BAUDOLINO
(singing)
Train of gold, train of gold,
Took me long to find what's wrong,
Train of gold, train of gold...
In the distance, tall oil rigs surrounded by yellow methane
collection domes. Baudolino starts the drone video recording
from the laptop and drives the drone over.
The drone approaches a few egg-shaped yellow drones buzzing
around. Farther away, heavy machinery clears the jungle's
forest. The drone flies towards those, but two of the yellow
drones -- Logo and Chinese lettering -- line up to stop it.
In the cockpit, the drone video, flashes "Collision".
DRONE AUDIO STREAM
(through speakers; heavy
accent)
This property upholds the exclusive
right to protect the interest of
the people of Boleru.
- LATER
Baudolino sucks food from a small ready-to-eat bag. The
hovercraft approaches a cluster of red rigs and domes in the
distance. He starts again the drone video and remotes it
closer to them. Two red drones approach fast -- Logo and
Russian lettering. The drone video is jammed.
- LATER
At sunset, the hovercraft glides on the river meandering
through the jungle. The drone flies closer to a deserted
Japanese wood sawmill, piles of wood, rusty bulldozers claws,
conveyers towards the river bank, accumulation of tree logs,
and sparse mobile homes.
A few naked TRIBESMEN and PEOPLE in military gear watch the
drone.
On the GPS map, the "Pilcopata" and "Paraiso Hotel" dots
flash.
EXT. MADRE DE DIOS RIVER - PILCOPATA - DAY
The hovercraft glides from water to marshland and, through a
narrow forest trail, stops by "Roth Pilcopata Paraiso Hotel".
Once upon a time an architectural nature-integrated marvel
made of vine-like trusses, the hotel is now swallowed by
lianas and moss. The firm is worn out and crooked, the roof
canopy is collapsed.
INT. ROTH PILCOPATA PARAISO HOTEL - DAY
At the bar, PECKER, burly man (50), rimmed glasses, kills
time drinking. A scientist hesitant on more than the choice
of his words.
Above the bar, the TV broadcasts red and yellow drones
fighting, some crushing -- news scrolling "Foreign interests
trigger conflict..."
Pecker scrutinizes Baudolino and -- the covered parrot's cage
-- then nods in greeting. Baudolino nods in turn.
A hotel HOST (30), Japanese man, greets Baudolino, who, in a
sudden reflex, drops the cage and strikes a big bug about to
hit him in the face.
The big bug crawls slowly on the floor.
HOST
Small Titan Beetle, Sir.
BAUDOLINO
Any titanic Titan Beetles around?
The Host extends a tablet. Baudolino takes the -- card from
the creamy wallet and waves it on the tablet.
With body language, Pecker invites Baudolino to join him for
a drink. Baudolino declines politely and leaves.
INT. HOTEL LOUNGE - MORNING
Parrot's cage swinging.
Baudolino walks with it along the tortuous corridor, his
sleepy face swept by the alternation of sunrays and shadows
from the ceiling lianas.
Pecker chugs a beer at the bar, sees Baudolino, and raises
the glass smiling. Next to him, TWO YOUNG BOYS (15) and (18),
armed, laugh, drink jus, and watch Baudolino.
Baudolino nods at them and sits at a table. Pecker joins him
and places on an empty chair his leather case -- embossed
British coat of arms and "Royal Anthropological Society".
BAUDOLINO
(friendly)
Juicing yourself up early?
PECKER
I'm Pecker Smithe, British
ethnographer.
BAUDOLINO
I saw the blazon. I'm Paco Garido.
Machinery parts business.
Pecker nods questioningly at the cage.
BAUDOLINO
(uncovering the parrot)
Family business --
PECKER
(intrigued with malaise)
-- Umm...Ugh!
BAUDOLINO
Right! But I'm supposed to show
compassion and release him in the
good company of young --
A frisky waitress, METISSE GIRL (16), a combination of fluffy
and braided hairstyle, stops by their table, hand on hip.
BAUDOLINO
-- perico.
METISSE GIRL
I'm Bombita, not perico! What you
want?
BAUDOLINO
Are you on the menu?
METISSE GIRL
(rolling her eyes,
shifting them to the
boys)
Check with the Luminoso boys.
Baudolino turns to the bar. One of the Luminoso boys smiles
at him, thumb up. Baudolino acknowledges with familiarity and
turns back to check the menu.
BAUDOLINO
Bunuelos and Api, por favor.
Pecker signals for another beer.
BAUDOLINO
Ethnographer!.. Do you really,
really get into the indigenous
people's minds? I've met one, once.
PECKER
We get into their minds by learning
the language... umm, listening to
their stories, and experience their
habits.
BAUDOLINO
Experience what level of their
mind? -- Let me tell you about this
ethnographer in Solomon Islands.
The shaman gave him a farewell
gift, a powder to make him, and
whatever he touches, invisible. The
ethnographer was only to sniff the
powder! Then bust any jewelry or
clothing store, for nobody will see
anything.
PECKER
Did it work?
BAUDOLINO
No!... He didn't sniff it! That's
my point about the "ethnographer
experience".
EXT. HOTEL GROUNDS - LATER
Cage in hand, squinting against the sunlight, Baudolino
scrutinizes the surroundings from the hotel deck. In front of
him, a jungle clearing and two intersecting trails through
the tall grass.
He walks on the trail toward the jungle. Pecker gets out of
the hotel and follows him, puffing a thick e-cig. On the
other trail, TRIBESMEN in a single file carry loads of
bananas, fish, plantain wraps, and skin bags. LANCE DE FER
(40), short, stocky, big labyrinth tattoo on his back, woven
headband, feather piece on his chest, and spear in his hand,
leads the group.
Baudolino waits for the file to pass.
The LAST TRIBESMAN in the file glances surprised at -- the
pyramidal cage -- then runs to the head of the file.
Ample hand gestures and excited talk between them while
walking. Lance de Fer stops, raises his hand to stop the
file, then walks back together with Last Tribesman.
Lance de Fer looks suspiciously at Baudolino and Pecker, then
mesmerized at the cage. The tribesmen surround Baudolino and
elbow their way in to look -- fascinated -- at the cage.
Amused, Baudolino removes the cage cloth.
Lance de Fer kneels. He touches the cage wires reverently and
whispers a prayer in a strange dialect. Throughout the
prayer, he mimics a pyramid shape, raises his hands to the
heavens, falls into a trance -- by rolling back his eyes -
wakes up into an exalted state, and bursts into a silly --
teeth-missing -- laughter.
The tribesmen follow suit with a burst of loud, silly
laughter.
PARROT
Gente del mundo, relax!
The tribesmen stop laughing and take a step back. Lance de
Fer stands up. Baudolino looks at Pecker, intrigued. Pecker
records the scene with his phone.
LANCE DE FER
(to Pecker; pyramid shape
hand gesture, heart
touching, broad smile
towards the sky; Nahua
dialect)
........
PECKER
(to Baudolino)
They revere their... hmm shaman,
Pyramid Head, who teaches them that
laughter raises their... hmm,
hearts to the sky.
BAUDOLINO
(to Pecker)
Do you understand this
gobbledygook?
PECKER
(to Baudolino)
It's Nahua dialect, Pano-Tacanas
language family. I studied many of
them... umm, two years ago.
(to Lance de Fer; pointing
at the cage and jungle;
Nahua dialect)
......
(to Baudolino)
Told him about your... umm, family
business.
LANCE DE FER
(to Pecker; pointing at
the parrot, the jungle
then, mimicking birds
flying; Nahua dialect)
.......
PECKER
(to Baudolino)
He knows a good place for your
parrot --
Lance de Fer interrupts Pecker by poking his arm.
LANCE DE FER
(to Pecker; hand gesture
for pyramid, prayer, and
a bow; Nahua dialect)
.......
PECKER
(to Baudolino)
But they must first show the cage
and parrot to the shaman. Then
they'll release the parrot.
BAUDOLINO
(to Lance de Fer)
Perfecto!
He's about to hand over the cage when -- Pecker grabs his
hand.
PECKER
(to Lance de Fer; shaking
his head; Nahua dialect)
..........
Lance de Fer cannot answer, blinks and nods hesitantly.
PECKER
(to Baudolino; exited)
I told him that we also want to see
the Pyramid Head.
Baudolino shakes his head.
BAUDOLINO
Can't do. Must go back by noon.
PECKER
(to Baudolino; rushing
towards the hotel)
You're missing a great opportunity.
I can't! -- Must grab my gear. You
decide in the meanwhile.
Lance de Fer smiles at Baudolino, who -- rolls his eyes and
fakes a short, crazed laughter.
EXT. PARATOARI JUNGLE TRAIL - DAY
The tribesmen walk briskly on a narrow path through the
jungle. Baudolino, cage uncovered in one hand, takes videos
of -- colorful parrots flying from flowery tree branches.
Loaded with his explorer equipment and sweating, Pecker
struggles to keep up with the group.
PECKER
(breathing hard)
... perception of value.
For them, the pyramidal shape is
sort of... umm, divination. The
Pyramid Head, the Paratoari
Pyramids place where they live.
BAUDOLINO
Why should I be curious about it?
PECKER
The shaman is quite a strange
character. Two years ago, I had a
short, too short of a meeting
with... well you should see for
yourself -- I must better document
the experience... hmm, err!
Marvelous opportunity!
JUNGLE CLEARING - NIGHT
The big, yellow rising moon lights the jungle and the distant
pyramid-shaped formations on the side of the mountain.
The group stops in a clearing. Lance de Fer points at the
small knoll with a tree-house platform and hammocks.
LANCE DE FER
(to Pecker; pyramid shape
hand gesture, bows
gathering his hands,
traces the moon course to
the high sky; Nahua
dialect)
..........
PECKER
(to Baudolino)
He'll have to ask Pyramid Head
about the visit and will return at
midnight to get us.
The tribesmen disappear into the jungle.
- LATER
In their hammocks, Baudolino watches the moon in the sound of
-- Pecker's snoring.
Lance de Fer climbs the ladder to the platform and, grabbing
his puckered lips with the fingers, signs for Baudolino to
follow him. He shakes his head in Pecker's direction.
- LATER
A moving cloud covers the moon. The wind blows through the
trees. The birds gurgle, hoot, and cackle.
In almost complete darkness, Baudolino, holding the parrot's
cage, follows Lance de Fer through the dense vegetation. The
parrot croaks.
LIANA BRIDGE - LATER
The moving cloud clears the moon. They go through a thicket,
then walk on a rope bridge over a crevice.
TRIBE CAMP - LATER
The strong moonlight lights the valley, the pyramid-shaped
hills, and a tribe camp.
In the camp, small tents and a big hut. TRIBESMEN and WOMEN
sort out fish and plantains around a fire. A TRIBESMAN softly
plays a panpipe. On the side of the group, a rack with drums
and rattles.
Followed by Baudolino, Lance de Fer leads the way toward the
colorfully decorated big hut.
INT. PYRAMID HEAD HUT - NIGHT
Lance de Fer and Baudolino enter the hut dimly lit by
candles. The curtain bells softly chime.
PYRAMID HEAD, head down covered by a veil hanging down to
shoulders, body wrapped in a dress decorated with Inca
motifs, sits cross-legged on a triangular mat. On the mat,
small bowls with colored powders and odd-looking smoking
pipes.
Pyramid Head slowly raises the head -- small slits at the
eyes and mouth. A slight shake of interest at the sight of
the -- pyramidal cage.
PYRAMID HEAD
(thin voice; Nahua
dialect)
.......
Baudolino doesn't understand and turns to Lance de Fer, who
signals to Baudolino to remove the cage cloth.
At the sight of the parrot, Pyramid Head's head shakes, and
hands applaud. One more clap and a dismissal gesture towards
Lance de Fer.
PYRAMID HEAD
(Nahua dialect)
.....
Lance de Fer crosses his hands on the chest, bows, and
leaves. Suddenly, loud drumming starts outside.
The fracas excites the parrot.
PARROT
(croaking)
Gente del mundo, relax!
The Pyramid Head imitates the parrot's croak and claps to the
rhythm of the drums. The parrot croaks and dances on the
perch. The slogan alternating duet continues.
PYRAMID HEAD
(to Baudolino; thin voice;
broken English, funny
laughter)
Good, bright bird... yees, happy
life pyramid... know secret --
Baudolino smiles questioningly. Pyramid Head invites him to
sit in front of him.
PYRAMID HEAD
-- I have smile secret.
BAUDOLINO
(in Spanish; subtitled)
Smiles have no secrets to me --
(pointing at the veil)
-- but you do have one that makes
me curious.
PYRAMID HEAD
(nodding; in Spanish;
subtitled)
Um-hmm... curious! Curious? --
Revealing a sacred secret asks for
Ayahuasca!
Pyramid Head chooses a bowl and a stick with three prongs --
one long with a small receptacle, two short at the other end.
He loads the receptacle with a greenish powder -- a powder
cloud rises.
PYRAMID HEAD
(in Spanish; subtitled)
And a sacrifice.
Baudolino smiles, waving his hand in a go-ahead sign.
Through the slits of the hood, Pyramid Head's eyes lock on
Baudolino, then the eyeballs roll back as in a short trance.
PYRAMID HEAD
(in Spanish; subtitled)
I see... you walking in life two
feet above solid ground!
Baudolino nods a right'o and a thumb up.
Pyramid Head extends the two-prong end of the pipe towards
Baudolino's nose. He then brings the long end to the veil's
mouth slit. Baudolino bends forward, nonchalantly inserting
the prongs into his nostrils. Pyramid Head blows the powder.
PYRAMID HEAD
Rapé!
Baudolino wallops, widely opens his eyes, and sneezes over
the powder bowls. A cloud of colored powders envelops their
heads.
Unwillingly, Pyramid Head breathes in the powder, waves it
away, then opens the cage door. The parrot flies out.
Head lulling, Baudolino falls into an altered state. The
drums beating outside subside.
MONTAJ: BAUDOLINO'S AND PYRAMID HEAD'S TRANCES
(Rendered digitally, the characters' trances alternate in
slightly different hues. The drum's slightly altered beats
alternate to resemble Inca and Rock-and-Roll rhythms.)
-- In BAUDOLINO'S TRANCE, a slightly warped vision of Pyramid
Head lifting the veil reveals a head resembling an inverted
pyramid -- large at the top with eyes wide apart, a pointed
chin, and dark, wrinkled skin. An interesting, not scary
figure.
The parrot's magnified wings flap in slow motion, plumage
rejuvenated with bright colors.
Pyramid Head stands up, extends the hands laterally, and the
breasts of a WOMAN's (40) poke through the dress, fabric
decorated with the Nazca Hexagram geoglyph.
-- In PYRAMID HEAD'S TRANCE, her triangular head shape morphs
into the rounder face of Mamma Quilla, head adorned with a
ceremonial hat with feathers and large earrings.
Mamma Quilla raises her hands towards a big Incan rendering
of a parrot's slow-flapping colorful wings.
PYRAMID HEAD (V.O.)
(echo; Spanish; subtitled)
I, Mamma Quilla, the Calendar
Holder, turn the Calendar back to
the beginning of time...
-- In BAUDOLINO'S TRANCE, his head warps and grows. In his
eye's iris, the digital time from year to milliseconds runs
backward over the Earth's counter-clock spinning...
PYRAMID HEAD (V.O.)
(warped; Spanish;
subtitled)
... beginning of time...
-- In PYRAMID HEAD'S TRANCE, subliminal, blurry images of
Spanish conquest... Inca people dead in the plague...
PYRAMID HEAD (V.O.)
(echo; Spanish; subtitled)
... violence, sickness...
-- In BAUDOLINO'S TRANCE, zoom in on the Earth's counter
clock spinning, countries' various colors flash, mixed with
subliminal images of modern weaponry, war destruction, and
nature depletion...
PYRAMID HEAD (V.O.)
(warped; Spanish;
subtitled)
... violence... sickness...
-- In PYRAMID HEAD'S trance, the images of the Incan doom
gradually change to the better times of Machu Picchu's glory.
The citadel structures MORPH into a Yupana table, grains drop
into the small squares, squares MORPHS into Nazca lines with
Quipu KNOTS at the intersect points...
PYRAMID HEAD (V.O.)
(echo; Spanish; subtitled)
... further back to progress and
abundance...
-- In BAUDOLINO'S TRANCE, the digital clock runs backward
over images of doom MORPHING to nature blossoming, subliminal
graphic images of the Industrial Revolution, train wheels,
astrolabe, and steampunk gears turning...
PYRAMID HEAD (V.O.)
(warped; Spanish;
subtitled)
... progress and abundance...
-- In PYRAMID HEAD'S TRANCE, Mama Quilla takes the hand of
her Sun god husband. The Old Man Creator of the World, white
beard, joins them and starts a ring dance. People join them
en masse in a cosmic ring of dancing and laughing...
PYRAMID HEAD (V.O.)
(echo; Spanish; subtitled)
... when the Old Man Creator of the
World was holding our hands... and
teaching the secret of the
Universal Harmony....Laughter!
Laughter!
-- In BAUDOLINO'S TRANCE, the steampunk gears MORPH into the
mechanism of a mechanical clock, then into the circuit board
of a digital clock, circuitry into axons, neurons, and
connecting glial cells zooming out to a brain, to a myriad of
brains connected in the spirals of the Universe's galaxies...
PYRAMID HEAD (V.O.)
(warped; Spanish;
subtitled)
... Universal Harmony....Laughter!
Laughter!
END OF MONTAGE
LIANA BRIDGE - NIGHT
Baudolino's head bobs, asleep under the spell of Rapé.
At dawn, Lance de Fer carries him on his back, strapped on a
makeshift bamboo seat, over the bridge.
JUNGLE CLEARING - MORNING
Lance de Fer roasts yucca. A plume of smoke rises from it.
Up on the platform, Baudolino sleeps, shaking the hammock
with fits of laughter. Pecker is awaken by the whiff of the
roasted yucca and Baudolino's laughs.
PECKER
(to Baudolino)
What's to laugh about?
Baudolino turns sideways, falls backward from the hammock
feet up, and looks -- cross-eyed -- at them.
BAUDOLINO
Bah!... help me --
Pecker helps him back into the hammock, then sits on his own.
BAUDOLINO
(laughing)
-- Mighty surprise --
The migraine turns his laughter into a grimace.
BAUDOLINO
-- your Pyramid Head --
PECKER
-- Wait! You didn't --
He yells at Lance de Fer.
PECKER
(Nahua dialect)
......
LANCE DE FER
(hands gesture a pyramid
shape, head forcefully
shaking; Nahua dialect)
......
PECKER
(to Baudolino;
exasperated)
-- Darn! She just wanted to see
your hmm!... cockatoo!
Baudolino shrugs, not his fault.
PECKER
You'll have to tell me everything --
BAUDOLINO
I have some pictures. But, foggy
brain right now... this laughing
secret about laughter...
PECKER
... Yes?
BAUDOLINO
... came with an omen --
PECKER
(standing up, alert)
-- Oh, you too!?
BAUDOLINO
What do you mean?
PECKER
Well... two years ago she told me
the hmm... ha-ha secret.
BAUDOLINO
Harmony in the world is good. But
why the bad omen? It's an
anthropologic bluff. What's yours?
PECKER
I... I wasn't supposed to... hmm,
touch a man's penis or else... die.
BAUDOLINO
(laughing)
She's a... show, sha-woman. What
else would she curse you with?
You're still alive, aren't you?...
You did, didn't you?
PECKER
(outraged)
What tells you that I would have
such an inclination?
BAUDOLINO
Well, you're an ethnologist! --
Show some guts for science's sake.
Experience!
Baudolino unzips his fly.
Hesitantly, Pecker looks down -- showing distaste. He slowly
raises his hand, then a finger, and bends over.
Pecker straightens up. Baudolino gestures see?, no problem!
Pecker smiles, relieved.
But his smile freezes, his eyes open wide, and he falls flat
on his back -- head bouncing on the platform.
BLACK
EXT. SEATTLE - FISH MARKET - DAY
Rain pours on driverless DELIVERY CARTS. PEOPLE walk on the
Seattle Fish Market's crowded street, with and without
umbrellas or shopping bags. In the background, the Space
Needle tower.
At one of the market entries, impervious to the pouring rain,
without umbrella, Baudolino sits in a high-tech wheelchair
loaded with gismos. A rain stream flows along the curb.
An attractive YOUNG WOMAN (25) walks by. He watches her
entering the market. Inside, PEOPLE buy fish packages from
vending machines, others pick up fish from a conveyor.
A group of THREE JOLLY TEENAGER GIRLS with school bags and
transparent umbrellas walks down from the Design School.
Two of them set the umbrellas aside and show off -- fancy
origami boats. Girl 1, shields Baudolino with her umbrella
and rests her hand on his shoulder. He turns and nods at her
-- shyly smile.
He gets a small sculpted wooden boat from a wheelchair side
bag and invites the two girls to a sailing contest.
One origami boat gets stuck in the gutter, the other keeps
floating. Baudolino launches his.
They all watch the two boats floating downstream. Further
down, on the cross street, PEOPLE rally waving banners.
INT. BAUDOLINO ROOM - DAY
By the window, distressed, Baudolino watches the heavy clouds
and rain. Briefly, a sunray breaks through the clouds and
alights the room. He turns to look at Girl 1, snoozing in
bed, and takes a deep breath.
The cell phone buzzes, and he answers the call.
BAUDOLINO
(pleased; muffled)
Bobby!
Listening, his smile gradually dissolves into embarrassment
and powerlessness. Girl 1 gets off the bedsheets, yawns, and
looks at her watch.
BAUDOLINO
-- No, not here....Oh, that's where
you are... OK, I'll be over.
Girl 1 looks at him questioningly. He points at the phone and
rolls his wheelchair toward her. She gets on his lap, looks
into his -- crossed eyes -- and lightly kisses him.
INT. AUNTIE'S HOUSE - DAY
The door opens. Baudolino rolls his hi-tech wheelchair into
the vestibule.
The REJUVENATED AUNT (30), round biosensors stuck on her
shaved head, tight leggings and top to show off her
silhouette, leads the way to the living room. The
rejuvenation changed her skin but not her bossy character.
AUNTIE
(mocking)
Still recovering from the parrot's
mission?
In the living room, BOBBY CASE (30), slim, ponytail and a
brace neck, bends over to give Baudolino a friendly shoulder
shake. Baudolino responds by squeezing Bobby's hands.
Bobby looks at the wheelchair faking admiration. His head's
shaking is stopped by a painful neck stab.
BOBBY CASE
(guttural voice; mocking)
This is a fine piece of
engineering! How far in six
seconds?
BAUDOLINO
Hundred yards in two minutes at
breakneck speed.
They both laugh with gusto, Bobby with some difficulty. He
sits in an armchair -- a beer case by it.
BOBBY CASE
So, what happened? The boss was
upset that you didn't provide an
explanation, happy you didn't claim
a worker's comp.
AUNTIE
But I need an explanation! Cross
eyed... and in a wheelchair? -- You
both look awful! It doesn't seem
that intelligence work is your
forte.
BAUDOLINO
(to Bobby)
Bossy, isn't she?
BOBBY CASE
(to Auntie; mediating)
Let me talk to him, privately.
Offended, Auntie walks away with more silhouette show-offs.
They both watch her moves, Baudolino shaking his head in
disbelief, Bobby appreciative. He's asking with body language
about Auntie's head biosensors.
BAUDOLINO
Rejuvenation maintenance
contract... remote brain
surveillance.
FITNESS AND COMPUTER ROOM
Auntie sits in front of MONITOR 1: BLISS KLEANIK website
logo, PATIENT PAGE with a head schematic, head sensors, and
-- a cerebral activity plot flashing "Take a deep breath,
relax" alert.
She takes a few. In the large room, computers, stacks of
drawers, electronic gages, and disassembled electronic
devices. By a wall, fitness equipment and a tall mirror. On
walls, her parrot's painting and photos of peacocks in the
jungle.
Calmer, she shifts her attention to MONITOR 2, which displays
an array of views from the house surveillance cameras.
She selects the living room where Bobby and Baudolino talk.
She turns up the volume.
BOBBY
(through speakers)
... boss was about to bless your
move to operative level -- The way
I know you, something distracted
you. What was it?
BAUDOLINO
(with difficulty; through
speakers)
I cannot talk about it. It's...
stupid, dramatic, and laughable.
Baudolino takes a swig and finishes his beer. Bobby gets two
more bottles from the case, opens them, and gives one to
Baudolino.
BOBBY CASE (V.O.)
(through speakers)
Spill it on me. Cheer up!
Auntie zooms in on Baudolino. He looks straight at the
surveillance camera, waves, and nods at Bobby.
They take the beer bottles and the case and move out onto the
veranda.
Furious, Auntie knocks her fist on the desk. MONITOR 1
cerebral activity plot flashes "Take a deep breath,
relax".
VERANDA - LATER
Empty beer bottles by the case.
BOBBY CASE
And you believe in this crap?
BAUDOLINO
The ethnologist died. That was
scary! So, if I want to live, I
have to --
BOBBY CASE
-- Stop! Don't say it. You may
start believing that it's true!
Deep silence. They're both confused. Baudolino wiggles the
wheelchair.
BAUDOLINO
I have to figure out why this
secret is bundled with an omen. If
everybody would know about it, then
... if no secret, no omen?
BOBBY CASE
-- The laughter secret? -- Listen
Bodo! Your mind is fucked-up good.
Let's go back to your sha-woman --
Baudolino denies the possibility.
BOBBY CASE
Then let's get back into the game --
But don't let yourself get
distracted by... anything!
BAUDOLINO
Been laid off, remember? -- I need
to hide away for a while, think
about it, de-fuck myself, not work.
BOBBY CASE
(dismissive)
The more you think about it, the
more it gets stuck to your brain.
-- Forget about being laid off. You
know how things work. I might have
just the right thing for you...
unofficially. With a clear mind,
you'll find a solution, or the
solution finds you -- Now, any
chutzpah left in your brain?
Muscles in good shape?
Baudolino touches his chest. With a spark of energy, he locks
the wheelchair brakes and, with hands on the hand rests,
executes a routine of parallettes, V-Sit, knee raise, and a
pike ending with a handstand push-up.
Bobby twists his body from the chair to get to Baudolino's
head level.
BOBBY CASE
Let's talk about... Somalia.
Mood changed for better, Baudolino gets back in the
wheelchair.
BOBBY CASE
Good place to hide, if that's what
you need. I'm stationed in Djibouti
at the Italian base... training
them. I'll be your controller.
BAUDOLINO
Controlling me about?
He sees -- Auntie behind the veranda glass doors. Bobby
follows Baudolino's glance. He friendly waves and apologizes.
She puts her hands on her hips, berates them, and leaves.
BOBBY CASE
She's cute! -- Anyhow, Italian,
French, and British fell off the
favors while India, Japan, and
Saudi Arabia emerged as cash
cows... themselves digging for rare
metals.
BAUDOLINO
Ahhh! The hot-pot Djibouti. All in,
French, Russians, Chinese -- who do
you want me to spy on?
BOBBY CASE
Wait! The Somalian King mulls them
all, but he likes the Saudis -- you
know, monarch-to-monarch talk.
BAUDOLINO
You're beating around the bushes.
BOBBY CASE
(ignoring Baudolino)
No! I'm getting to the core of it.
Yunis and Huda Bedouin families
currently fight against each other
while supporting competing India's
and Saudi Arabia's mining
companies.
Baudolino gets annoyed.
BOBBY CASE
We support the Huda clan. That'll
get India in trouble, thus make
room for Japan.
BAUDOLINO
(interested)
I like Geishas. Make me curious!
BOBBY CASE
You must deliver high-tech, low
frequency sonic defense systems to
the Huda family.
BAUDOLINO
(incredulous)
In the wheelchair!
BOBBY CASE
That's your cover! You're promoting
electric camel milking equipment,
camel milk butter, soap --
Baudolino starts laughing and gets his head on his hands.
BOBBY CASE
(funny)
-- lip balm -- a non-profit U.F.O.
representative.
BAUDOLINO
(miffed)
U.F.O.
BOBBY CASE
(smiling)
Unlimited Friendship Organization.
-- No dangers. A short, easy in-and
out mission.
BAUDOLINO
(looking at his feet;
incredulous)
The previous in-and-out got me into
this -- Is your quickie going to
get me out of it? Or back in the
business?....No way!
EXT. SOMALIAN DESERT - NIGHT
The stealth drone landing raises a cloud of desert sand.
Baudolino's crawler track wheelchair is set down -- drone
cable coupling releases -- and the drone flies away. The dust
settles.
TWO YOUNG ARMED MEN, waist bullet belts, run towards him. At
some distance behind them, four futuristic camping modules,
one livestock trailer, MEN on a rug, WOMEN dancing.
The family leader, KHAN HUDA (50), TWO OLD (60) and (70), ONE
YOUNG (18), and TWO KIDS (10), sit crouched on the rug,
leaning against Moroccan ornamented bin bags. The Young Huda
smokes a vape pen. They all have a serious demeanor. On the
rug, a teapot, tea cups, hookah, tablets, phones, and guns.
On the side, TWO YOUNG WOMEN (30), (20), dance -- jingling
electronic LED tambourines. THREE GIRLS, 10 to 12 years old,
hop along. TWO OLD WOMEN (50) and (60), clap their hands to
the tune of the music. An OLD MAN (60), plays an electric oud
in the background rhythm from speakers. They all have fun,
laugh or smile.
All around, mobile caravans wheel tracks and a network of
electric power cables connecting the camping modules and
electrical devices to a generator.
Few GOATS roam around. One of them strikes the sand with its
hoof and digs out -- an electrical cable.
The Armed Men run along Baudolino's -- grown beard --
wheelchair toward the camp. At the back of the wheelchair,
tall, "U.F.O." duffel bags. On the side, large marketing
folders.
The Huda Men look over at the approaching group. The Young
Huda stands up, lights an incense stick then hauls the goats
towards the trailer. The necks of TWO CAMELS stick above the
trailer sides.
The Huda Women stop dancing.
Baudolino's wheelchair and the Armed Men stop by the group.
The Khan stands up, signals at the women to keep dancing,
gets to Baudolino, and scrutinizes the wheelchair.
KHAN HUDA
(compassionate; right hand
on heart)
May peace be upon you -- What a
misfortune! A curse from one who
envied you, perhaps?
BAUDOLINO
(right hand on heart,
looking at his feet)
And peace be upon you... The curse
of curiosity... after all.
Khan makes room for him and sits on a bean bag. Baudolino
gets a line of sight to the dancing women.
Staccato of automatic machine gun from afar. Baudolino turns
in that direction -- explosions and lights beyond the distant
dunes.
BAUDOLINO
Are we safe here?
KHAN HUDA
(confident)
Do not worry about those. We're
concerned about the drones...
during the day.
Baudolino turns his attention to the dancers and shakes his
head in the rhythm of the music.
One of the dancing women, AYAH(30), with glittering headgear,
turns on the e-tambourine light and shakes her head
seductively at Baudolino.
Khan nudges Baudolino and nods suggestively toward the
dancers.
KHAN HUDA
(invitingly)
Enjoy your stay with us. Make it
longer.
The Young Armed man doesn't like that suggestion.
INT. TENT - NIGHT
Baudolino lies on a mattress covered by a bed sheet. Next to
it, the wheelchair and his white linen suit on it.
The drape beads chaff, and Ayah comes in. They exchange
looks.
She sits on the rag next to the mattress, and leans over
resting her elbow on a bean bag. Long pause. She extends her
foot to uncover Baudolino's and -- gently presses on his
foot's arch.
AYAH
Feel anything?
Baudolino smiles. An erection forms under the bedsheet.
AYAH
(Looking at the bulge)
What can you do with your... legs?
BAUDOLINO
Everything. Except for touching the
ground.
AYAH
(marketing pitch)
Wow!....A curse? I can take care of
that.
Baudolino raises an eyebrow, wondering.
AYAH
My name, Ayah, means miracle... and
miracles is what I do... miracle
business -- I had to evolve from
setting up the tent, carrying
water, wood... attending to
livestock...
She takes out from the deep cleavage of her dress -- a totem,
a triangular body with a pyramidal head.
BAUDOLINO
(funny)
Aaargh! Pyramids again?
AYAH
Uh, a Nile situation!
BAUDOLINO
(annoyed)
Amazon.
Unfazed, she continues her pitch.
AYAH
(holding the totem)
We must be close to the water then.
Look, your jinnee must have been
touched by a devil. But mine... I
was playing with it since childhood
and made sure it was touched only
by kindhearted fairies.
Amused, Baudolino plays along.
BAUDOLINO
(mocking)
I'm supposed to get curious about
your... magic. What's the payment
plan?
She pulls up the bedsheet a bit higher -- caressing his leg
with her foot -- then gets on the mattress.
AYAH
-- and the wheelchair.
EXT. SOMALIAN DESERT - DAY
Blaring desert sun. Windy swirls of sand cover portions of
the electrical cables.
Someone moves under a large organic-looking cover that blends
in with the sand patterns and wheel tracks.
Baudolino trains the Huda men surrounding him.
BAUDOLINO (V.O.)
See how the colors match the sand?
It's made of organic nano-Aluminum
foil layers, not visible from a
drone flying at... some altitude.
It'll attenuate the sonic energy,
avoiding lasting harm.
Next to the moving shape, in the sand, a cylinder with a
string attached to the cover and two loose shoulder strings.
Baudolino gets an identical cylinder from the backrest
holder. An electrical cable, partially covered by sand,
connects the wheelchair to the generator.
BAUDOLINO
Keep the cylinder strapped to your
back.
(pointing at the bottom of
the cylinder)
This capsule blasts out the sonic
cover from the cylinder
automatically. If it doesn't, press
this button.You must reload the
capsule after each use.
Huda men nod appreciatively. The Young Huda comes out from
under the sonic cover and starts wrapping to fit it back into
the cylinder.
Baudolino prompts them to get the "U.F.O" duffel bags and lay
them on sand.
The Huda men rush to unfold them. Nested in color-coded
pockets, stacks of cylinders, square boxes, and accessories.
BAUDOLINO
In the boxes, coveralls for attack
missions. What you --
Someone's yelling makes all turn their heads.
The Old Man runs down the slope of a dune.
OLD MAN
Habr Yunis, Yunis coming!
Baudolino looks wondering at the Khan, who -- cusses in
Arabic.
KHAN HUDA
(to Baudolino; deriding)
Men of poetry and... looove!
He signals to his men, who quickly roll up the "U.F.O." bags.
The Young Huda hurriedly hides the cylinder and the still
unwrapped sonic cover into an artisanal bag.
Baudolino grabs the marketing folder, deploys the large
advertising plastic brochure, and throws it in front of him.
A BEDOUIN FAMILY with THREE CAMELS loaded with bags,
approaches. On the first camel, hauled by a KID (10), the
family leader HADI YUNIS (30). On the second, hauled by an
ARMED YUNIS man (20), a shugduf -- drapery pulled by a WOMAN,
face covered by a veil. On the third, an OLD WOMAN, fat,
hijab and burqa, hauled by an OLD YUNIS MAN.
The Yunis' caravan stops by the Huda people. Polite greeting
exchanges in Arabic.
Khan Huda introduces Baudolino.
KHAN HUDA
(Arabic; subtitled)
We've been blessed to receive
business support from this
Frenchman. Our products could
benefit from ... say, even compete
in International trade.
Baudolino greets the Yunis politely in Arabic, then points at
the marketing brochure.
The Yunis people look at the product illustrations --
electric milking equipment, camel milk, butter, and lip balm.
HADI YUNIS
(Arabic; subtitled)
He doesn't look like a shepherd to
me....But let him bring the flock's
produce to fruition.
BAUDOLINO
(Arabic; subtitled)
It's also in the hands of the men
worshipping the holy Book of
Wisdom.
Hadi Yunis smiles and nods appreciatively.
The Bedouin clans exchange farewell greetings, the men with
somber faces, the women smiling.
Hadi Yunis leaves, waving at his family to follow.
After a while, he looks back at the Huda's mobile camp.
HADI YUNIS
(to Armed Yunis)
Mobile caravan! -- They forgot the
traditional ways.
He nods shortly at the Armed Yunis. The man gets his phone,
fumbles on it, finds what he wants, taps then nods back at
Hadi.
MONTAGE - SONIC DRONES ATTACK
-- Yunis Family. Hadi tugs the camel into a fast gait. The
Armed Yunis, Kid, and the Old Yunis start running towards a
small dune.
-- Huda Camp. Young Huda wraps and places the marketing
brochures on the side of Baudolino's wheelchair.
Baudolino takes a -- square device from his breast pocket.
-- Yunis Family. The Yunis people look up at the sky from the
top of the small dune. Three drones fly over.
END OF MONTAGE
Baudolino continues the training.
BAUDOLINO
(shaking the square
device)
... to install the app on your
phone. That's how we know the sonic
gun's frequency and pow --
ARMED HUDA
(in Arabic; subtitled)
-- Ruuun!
He points up at the approaching drones, and prompts the
others to grab the U.F.O bags. They all dash toward the
caravan modules.
The Young Huda removes the cylinder from his artisanal bag
and the partially unwrapped sonic cover from the cylinder. He
scrambles to cover his body with it while running and
stumbling.
Three green drones hover above. A very high-pitched sound
starts.
Baudolino's cylinder pops, deploying the sonic cover. He
covers himself and the chair.
The Huda men make it to the modules, stumbling under the
dizzying sound -- grimaces on their faces.
The caravan modules drive away.
One of the modules yanks on an electric power cable connected
to the generator.
The cable snaps out of the sand from under the crawler track
and topples the wheelchair sideways.
EXT. SOMALIAN DESERT - LATER
Under the sonic cover, Baudolino's face sweating. A drop runs
to and tickles the corner of his eye. The other side of his
face is in the sand. He blinks, opens his eyes, and looks
over at -- his feet off the ground.
He raises the side of the cover and blinks, blinded by the
sun. He pulls away the sonic cover. Complete silence. He
cocks his ears -- realizes that his movements do not cause
any sound -- snaps his fingers, no sound.
He moves the armrest sideways, turns, grabs the crawler track
edge and gets up on it.
With strength and gymnastics, he repetitively pounces his
weight on until the wheelchair flips back on both crawler
tracks. He breathes hard, rests, then looks around.
Blazing sun. The electric generator is toppled next to the
wheelchair -- a thick electrical cable in the sand.
The mobile caravan tracks extend in the distance.
Profusely sweating, he gets the suitcase from the side of the
wheelchair and opens it -- a laptop, headset, small tooling
bag and devices nested inside. He opens the laptop and
attempts to log in. He gets a repetitive "Network Interface
Controller Failure" message. He checks his phone -- it's
dead.
Distressed, he closes and places the suitcase back in the
wheelchair holder. Slowly, he re-inserts the sonic cover into
the cylinder and stashes the cylinder into its slot.
He starts rolling, following the caravan tracks in the sand.
The wind raises small swirls of sand. Here and there, the
sand covered the tracks.
- LATER
The tracks split in opposite directions. He stops, checks the
position of the afternoon sun, and chooses the barely visible
tracks going North.
In a dip between dunes, the tracks disappear in the ripples
of the sand. He drives up the dune, stops at the top, and
scrutinizes the desert extending in the distance.
BAUDOLINO
(singing-no sound;
subtitled)
Alone, alone,
I feel at home.
I hide from all,
And feeling whole.
He squints at -- the barely visible fortress walls and tower
warped by the hot air. A fata morgana, perhaps. Dizzy, he
shakes his head to clear the illusion and rolls towards it.
As he gets closer, the fata morgana becomes reality.
He stops on a rough stone pavement in front of the fortress's
high walls, a tall, double-door gate with two small, wrought
iron-barred doors higher up.
He yells for attention -- no sound -- and waits.
After a while, one of the small doors opens. Behind bars, the
head of MARIE (60), a nun with a black headpiece. She sees --
Baudolino in the wheelchair -- says something shooing him
away, and briskly slams the door.
Baudolino swears at length -- no sound -- sweating.
EXT. SOMALIAN DESERT - NIGHT
He shivers under the anti-sonic cover, then falls asleep,
exhausted.
EXT. SOMALIAN DESERT - MORNING
Baudolino shouts -- no sound -- at the gate. He waits. He
pleads at length, hoping to impress.
Marie's head is behind the bars. LUMPA's (20) black head,
punk afro hairdo sticks above the gate.
Baudolino watches Marie's sternly shaking her head and
explaining -- no sound.
Baudolino pleads calmly, first, then gradually angry -- no
sound.
Compassionate, Lumpa talks with Marie. Marie shakes her head
at Lumpa, waves Baudolino away, and closes the door.
Baudolino cusses -- no sound-- then, frustrated, closes his
eyes.
- LATER
A water skin bag and a small package drop next to him.
Under the hot sun, sweating, Baudolino snoozes. He opens his
eyes, looks around blinking, and sees the package.
He drinks and eats.
Somewhat refreshed, he starts a new round of pleads towards
the gate, but nobody shows up.
EXT. SOMALIAN DESERT - NIGHT
The moon lights the fortress buildings: two brick domes, a
Moonlight tower with a damaged glass dome, a big building, a
small orchard and a courtyard on each side, and some broken
stone walls. Sounds of machine guns and lights of explosions,
afar.
Lights flashing, two drones buzz around the fortress. The
sonic cover, covering Baudolino and the wheelchair, blends in
with the stone pavement.
Baudolino sleeps under the cover. Silence.
MONTAGE - BAUDOLINO'S SLEEP AND DREAM
-- In the dream, a gleaming, colorful, steampunk rendering of
a drone blasting rock-and-roll music through a giant, 1940's
gramophone horns.
-- Under the sonic cover, his fingers twitch as if playing
guitar. He briefly wakes up alert, relaxes then falls asleep
again.
-- In the dream, a big white room and large windows with
white draperies waving in the breeze. He sleeps in a white
bed, wrapped in bright, white sheets. A beautiful blond nurse
dressed in the white Red Cross uniform sweeps his brow with a
moist cloth -- water drops run down his cheeks.
EXT. SOMALIAN DESERT - LATER
Under the sonic cover, Baudolino's face sweating. A drop runs
to and tickles the corner of his eye. The other side of his
face is in the sand. He blinks, opens his eyes, and looks
over at -- his feet off the ground.
He raises the side of the cover and blinks, blinded by the
sun. He pulls away the sonic cover. Complete silence. He
cocks his ears -- realizes that his movements do not cause
any sound -- snaps his fingers, no sound.
He moves the armrest sideways, turns, grabs the crawler track
edge and gets up on it.
With strength and gymnastics, he repetitively pounces his
weight on until the wheelchair flips back on both crawler
tracks. He breathes hard, rests, then looks around.
Blazing sun. The electric generator is toppled next to the
wheelchair -- a thick electrical cable in the sand.
The mobile caravan tracks extend in the distance.
Profusely sweating, he gets the suitcase from the side of the
wheelchair and opens it -- a laptop, headset, small tooling
bag and devices nested inside. He opens the laptop and
attempts to log in. He gets a repetitive "Network Interface
Controller Failure" message. He checks his phone -- it's
dead.
Distressed, he closes and places the suitcase back in the
wheelchair holder. Slowly, he re-inserts the sonic cover into
the cylinder and stashes the cylinder into its slot.
He starts rolling, following the caravan tracks in the sand.
The wind raises small swirls of sand. Here and there, the
sand covered the tracks.
- LATER
The tracks split in opposite directions. He stops, checks the
position of the afternoon sun, and chooses the barely visible
tracks going North.
In a dip between dunes, the tracks disappear in the ripples
of the sand. He drives up the dune, stops at the top, and
scrutinizes the desert extending in the distance.
BAUDOLINO
(singing-no sound;
subtitled)
Alone, alone,
I feel at home.
I hide from all,
And feeling whole.
He squints at -- the barely visible fortress walls and tower
warped by the hot air. A fata morgana, perhaps. Dizzy, he
shakes his head to clear the illusion and rolls towards it.
As he gets closer, the fata morgana becomes reality.
He stops on a rough stone pavement in front of the fortress's
high walls, a tall, double-door gate with two small, wrought
iron-barred doors higher up.
He yells for attention -- no sound -- and waits.
After a while, one of the small doors opens. Behind bars, the
head of MARIE (60), a nun with a black headpiece. She sees --
Baudolino in the wheelchair -- says something shooing him
away, and briskly slams the door.
Baudolino swears at length -- no sound -- sweating.
EXT. SOMALIAN DESERT - NIGHT
He shivers under the anti-sonic cover, then falls asleep,
exhausted.
EXT. SOMALIAN DESERT - MORNING
Baudolino shouts -- no sound -- at the gate. He waits. He
pleads at length, hoping to impress.
Marie's head is behind the bars. LUMPA's (20) black head,
punk afro hairdo sticks above the gate.
Baudolino watches Marie's sternly shaking her head and
explaining -- no sound.
Baudolino pleads calmly, first, then gradually angry -- no
sound.
Compassionate, Lumpa talks with Marie. Marie shakes her head
at Lumpa, waves Baudolino away, and closes the door.
Baudolino cusses -- no sound-- then, frustrated, closes his
eyes.
- LATER
A water skin bag and a small package drop next to him.
Under the hot sun, sweating, Baudolino snoozes. He opens his
eyes, looks around blinking, and sees the package.
He drinks and eats.
Somewhat refreshed, he starts a new round of pleads towards
the gate, but nobody shows up.
EXT. SOMALIAN DESERT - NIGHT
The moon lights the fortress buildings: two brick domes, a
Moonlight tower with a damaged glass dome, a big building, a
small orchard and a courtyard on each side, and some broken
stone walls. Sounds of machine guns and lights of explosions,
afar.
Lights flashing, two drones buzz around the fortress. The
sonic cover, covering Baudolino and the wheelchair, blends in
with the stone pavement.
Baudolino sleeps under the cover. Silence.
MONTAGE - BAUDOLINO SLEEPS
-- In the dream, a gleaming, colorful, steampunk rendering of
a drone blasting rock-and-roll music through a giant, 1940's
gramophone horns.
-- Under the sonic cover, his fingers twitch as if playing
guitar. He briefly wakes up alert, relaxes then falls asleep
again.
-- In the dream, a big white room and large windows with
white draperies waving in the breeze. He sleeps in a white
bed, wrapped in bright, white sheets. A beautiful blond nurse
dressed in the white Red Cross uniform sweeps his brow with a
moist cloth -- water drops run down his cheeks.With a
beatific smile on his face, he -- extends a hand toward the
nurse.
END OF MONTAGE
INT. CONVENT - RECEPTION ROOM - DAY
Sunburned, extended hand.
A black, tattooed hand extends to hold the extended hand.
BAUDOLINO (O.S.)
(Somnambulant voice)
I love you!
LUMPA (O.S.)
(funny)
I love you too.
Sunburned face and lips with white balm, Baudolino, still
under the spell of recurring dreams, lies in a heavy-duty
folding cot on wheels, covered with white sheets.
Lumpa, tattoo on her neck, black habit, holds Baudolino's
hand. She is a New Age religious militant. Her habit hides an
exuding sensuality.
MARIE (60), a stern, staunch Catholic, complete black habit
on, squeezes a milk-soaked towel and hands it over to Lumpa.
Holding Baudolino's hand, she gently cools his brow with it.
Baudolino opens wide his -- crossed eyes -- and blinks,
blinded by the sun rays coming through the window.
He turns his head and sees -- the black hand holding his.
Lumpa's figure and black habit confuse him. He glances at his
feet, then around the room, and locks it on -- a stretcher
reclining in a corner.
The white, large room has a tall double door entry and a door
to the bathroom across the bed. On the right, toward the
courtyard, an ogive window, a solid wood desk, and an
armchair. On the walls, various iconic representations of
religious beliefs, New Age religious posters, a Christian
Trinity painting, and an Interfaith Calendar opened to --
March 2067.
BAUDOLINO
(lips moving; body
language for wheelchair)
...
LUMPA
(confident)
I know these machines...no worries.
Baudolino points at his ear and shakes his head.
The nurse gets it. She mimics driving the wheelchair and
points at herself, thumb up.
Lumpa nods at Marie, who walks to and opens the double door.
Two nuns walking by stop, look at Marie, and smile.
FACUNDA (40), Mexican, fat, in blue habits, gets in. The
other one, FUJI (30), Japanese Buddhist habits, rushes away.
One by one, NUNS come in, happy, curious, nudging against
each other to see Baudolino.
PIPPI (45), Italian, black curly hair and freckled face,
wearing a carpenter's belt over the habit, ZUZU (35), Swedish
blonde tall, thick lips, somewhat attractive, BRIGHID (30),
Irish, petite, festooned Celtic braided blond hair, BOB (40)
German, frizzy red hair, foxy-eyed, BADIA (30), Ethiopian
Muslim, dark skin, blue eyes, dressed in brown habits. Each
of their habits is adorned with ethnic accents.
Some throw furtive, condemning glances at -- Marie, who keeps
a defying stance. A couple of them bend over and greet
Baudolino.
Pleased, Baudolino nods at -- their soundless moving lips.
DOMINO (35), the prioress, French, good-looking brunette,
dressed in a complete white habit, makes her way through the
group. Emotionally intelligent, she oppresses her curiosity
to mitigate vulnerabilities.
She talks scrutinizing Baudolino, who -- looks at her
soundless moving lips. He touches his ears, upset, then
berates her -- no sound -- with ample body language by
pointing at the -- Trinity painting. He gradually loses
steam, stops talking, and drops his hand on his chest,
breathing hard.
Domino gives him a severe look, impassible.
DOMINO
(French accent; to
sisters)
Allons-y! Let's give him peace.
She ushers the nuns out of the room and exits the last.
Still inside, Lumpa puts a glass of milk on the night table
and sits on the bed. She starts singing and rests her hand on
his chest.
LUMPA
(softly;singing)
Baby born,
Baby burned.
Baudolino looks at her lips and calms down.
Still singing, her hand moves to his abdomen, then lower.
Baudolino widely opens his eyes, then shifts them to -- the
prioress standing at the door.
DOMINO
(to Lumpa)
Especially you!
Lumpa retracts her hand and stands up pointing for
Baudolino's benefit at -- the bell on the side table --
mimics ringing it, then walks to the door.
Baudolino throws a defying smile at Domino, who -- responds
in kind.
DOMINO
(to Lumpa)
I have to cope with our sisters'...
confused undercurrents.
She closes the door with a bang.
CORRIDOR
Lumpa walks ahead of Domino. Going by the wheelchair, she
stops and is about to get on it, but Domino grabs her elbow.
LUMPA
(protesting)
He wants it in his room.
DOMINO
(walking Lumpa)
Not now, sister. Let's join the
others.
WORKROOM
Lumpa and Domino enter the room. Lumpa keeps walking, and
Domino stops by the door.
MARIE (O.S.)
... does not belong here!
The sisters stop working on crafts and hobbies and turn their
heads toward the door. The room has large arched windows
towards the courtyard and racks with various handcraft
materials on the opposite side.
MARIE
We have to follow the vow of
chastity.
Some sisters nod in agreement, and all resume working.
LUMPA
(walking by Marie)
I don't see how you could possibly
break that.
Marie looks at her with hurt feelings, then lowers her head,
lips moving in prayer, fingers rolling a Christian rosary.
She sits by a vintage wool spinning wheel. On the floor,
small buckets with wool and yarn.
Sweating, Zuzu pedals a workout bike, a serene smile on her
face.
ZUZU
I don't care about men. They don't
exist for me.
Lumpa stops by and watches Zuzu pedaling from -- the narrow
seat.
LUMPA
(to Zuzu; nudging her
over)
I see how this could help. Let me
try it.
She gets on the bike and starts pedaling.
Domino walks along the sisters' desks. Pipi chops a piece of
wood -- a stylized human body with elongated legs. Facunda
weaves from raffia small religious crosses and Santos
figures. Fugi makes origami religious crosses. Badia makes
Muslim payer rosaries, many black separated by yellow beads.
BADIA
The Muslim Sufi law asks us to open
our arms even to the apparent evil.
There should be beauty inside... we
only need to want to discover it.
Marie looks up from the spinning wheel.
MARIE
(flustered)
He wakes up, gets in his machine,
and out the gate....We are all here
to heal from the abuse of men...
among other reasons.
Bob shakes her head at Marie in disagreement. She resumes
knitting macrame with an electronic tool.
DOMINO
(to Marie, then all)
Men may be bad, but let us not
forget that we gave them the apple.
Bob nods in agreement.
LUMPA (O.S.)
(singing)
Oh, yeeah! Yeaaah, yeaaah.
DOMINO
(ample hand gestures)
Sisters!
We withdrew from the tormented
world to reach the level of
tranquility... that allows us to
find peace for ourselves.
(to Marie)
Healing may come with forgiveness.
There could be something good with
this man. We should give him
just... temporary comfort.
(to all)
And we must come to terms with our
sins, take responsibility, and
repent. If we reconcile with
ourselves, we could help others,
fulfill the larger scope of our
mission. We cannot bring harmony to
this world without accepting...
diversity.
MARIE
(shaking her head, upset)
Let's vote.
LUMPA
(stops biking; good mood)
Why? Let's bike, not vote! Voting
will divide us.
RECEPTION ROOM - DAY
Sunburns covered with a white ointment, Baudolino wakes up,
grabs, and rings the bell -- a faint sound. He looks around.
The wheelchair, with the marketing folders visible, is by the
bedside.
Domino comes in and sets a tray with food and a milky-whitish
beverage on the stool by the bed.
BAUDOLINO
(faint voice)
Oh, it's you...
Marie comes in with his linen suit on a hanger and a small,
folded clothing stack. She hangs and places the clothing by
the door.
DOMINO
(faint voice)
Who did you expect?
BAUDOLINO
Can you sing?
Marie tears off the March page from the calendar -- April
2067. She is intrigued by Baudolino's question and looks at
Domino.
DOMINO
(frowning; more to
herself)
....O, la, la, that one! Animal
instincts --
Marie glances angrily at both, then briskly walks out.
BAUDOLINO
-- Can't hear you, please louder.
DOMINO
Animal instincts! -- I won't leave
you and Lumpa alone in the same
room.
BAUDOLINO
Are you safer?
Flustered, she nods at the tray.
Baudolino looks questioningly at -- the milky-whitish
beverage.
DOMINO
Choud d'oeuf.
BAUDOLINO
What's that?
DOMINO
French sort of... milkshake. Warm
milk, honey, and egg... good for
recovery - Listen! The sisters want
you out, back from wherever you
came.
BAUDOLINO
(mocking)
How cruel! Aren't you supposed to
help the unfortunate?
DOMINO
I cannot compromise the convent
unity for your sake....
(looking at his legs)
What's your unfortune?
BAUDOLINO
Cannot tell you, not even think
about it... for now. I need to hide
like a hermit for a while... until
I can sort this out.
DOMINO
(stern; giving a lesson)
Hiding for self-preservation is
also an animal instinct. A hermit
does not hide but exposes himself
to spiritual values, the
contemplation of God --
She stops seeing -- Baudolino rolling his eyes. Offended, she
nods again at the tray, walks to the door...
DOMINO
(to herself)
Man behavior!
... and closes it shut.
BAUDOLINO
(to the door)
Nut hard to crack.
EXT. CONVENT ALLEYS - DAY
The sisters walk, carry water buckets, or push wheelbarrows
doing the afternoon chores. A couple of geese and sheep roam
around.
Baudolino, reddish face peeling off, drives the wheelchair
through the narrow alleys. He wears long shorts and a cotton
shirt open to the neck.
Around the corner of the building, Lumpa and Zuzu stop to
look at him. He smiles and waves at them. They muffle a smile
and walk on.
The wheelchair bumps into a crumbled wall. His head jerks up
and he sees -- the high Moonlight stone tower, a geodesic
metal and glass dome at the top.
INT. TOWER BUILDING - CRAFTS ROOM - DAY
He rolls up a ramp to the first level, reaches a large
storage room, and looks around. Under the windows on the
right, shelves with glass jars and bottles, a rack with small
wood barrels.
On the opposite wall racks of wool, wood boxes, woven
fabrics, and raffia grass rolls. At a far corner, a broken
wool spinning wheel.
He rolls towards the shelves with the wood barrels and
bottles. He checks the -- handwritten labels of the bottles
"2066 Grenache" and "2060 Muscat Blank".
He rolls towards the door on rollers at the other end of the
room and glides it open.
HAY STORAGE ROOM - CONTINUOUS
A large room with opened double doors on rollers on the left
and right sides. Manual beam trolleys on the ceiling extend
outside towards the courtyard on the right and orchard on the
left. At the far end, a narrow spiral stair leads up to the
Moonlight tower.
Domino and Bob fluff and stack the hay on the orchard side.
The afternoon sunlight from the courtyard side bathes them
and the dust-filled room in an orange light.
Domino sees Baudolino, sweeps her perspired face, and gets
close to him.
DOMINO
Voila! The hermit came out of
hiding.
BAUDOLINO
I missed your sense of humor.
DOMINO
It's tonic, isn't it?
BAUDOLINO
(mocking)
Bubbly! Goes well with... good
vibrations from... other nuns.
DOMINO
(stern)
-- Sisters in our sisterhood.
(checking his front
temperature with her
hand)
The fever's gone! Let's go down.
Baudolino and Bob follow Domino into the crafts room.
CRAFTS ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Marie pushes a small cart with crafts up the ramp and stops
on the floor seeing the trio. She throws a dreadful look to
Baudolino, who -- mimics a smile.
DOMINO
Marie, when is the truck due?
MARIE
(looking at Baudolino)
God willing, next Friday.
DOMINO
(to Baudolino)
There... It'll take you to
Djibouti.
BAUDOLINO
Ah, Djibouti... an enjoyable ethnic
diversity to hide amongst Italians,
Japanese, Russians... not to
mention the "O La, La" people.
DOMINO
May God walk along with you on that
journey.
She regrets the slip of the tongue, looks at -- his feet --
then walks down the ramp. Bob crosses herself and follows
Domino. Marie continues her chore.
Grim, Baudolino rolls down the ramp.
EXT. CONVENT ALLEYS - CONTINUOUS
In the door opening of a room, he sees a sister's feet
flexing and massaging her toes. A pair of wooden clogs are
tried on.
Pippi comes out and takes a couple of steps with the clogs.
She sees Baudolino and waves him over to look into the room.
On one side, hanging tools, small wood blocks, and -- long
wooden poles. On the other side, shelves with religious wood
handcrafts, small marionettes, and statuettes. On the floor,
wood shavings.
Baudolino gives her a thumb up. They exchange warm smiles,
and he rolls away.
At the convent gate, he looks up. A broken, narrow wooden
bridge high under the wrought iron-barred doors.
A thick, wooden plank bars the gate doors. On the side of the
gate, high stilts lean against the stone stairs to the broken
bridge.
Struck by a thought, he extends his hands to the edge of the
stone stairs, gathers his energies, and jumps off the chair
holding his body weight on them. He climbs up -- one hand at
a time.
An athletic jump and turn put him on his butt next to the
stilts. He wraps their straps under his knees and slowly
lowers them to touch -- the ground -- but retreats them
quickly. Scared, he waits.
He dares to stand up on them, weavers, restores his balance,
and, happy, takes a few hesitant steps.
The sisters gathered in the alley look astonished or
frightful at his performance. He walks towards them.
Pipi rejoices, laughing, Fugi applauds gingerly, and Marie,
walks away, furious. Zuzu shows admiration. Domino is
confused.
Lumpa walks along him, points up at the opening into the hay
storage room, then runs towards the gate, gets in the
wheelchair, and rolls it. Domino watches, frowning.
Baudolino turns and reclines on the hay storage platform.
INT. HAY STORAGE ROOM - CONTINUOUS
He lies on his back on the haystack, pulls away from the
platform edge, and looks at the stilts extending over the
platform. He rests.
Lumpa drives the wheelchair into the room, stops next to him,
gets off, then slowly kneels at his head. She lowers her head
to touch the tip of his nose with hers.
She crawls around him on all fours and cautiously sits on his
upper legs.
Baudolino watches her taking her habit headpiece off and
unbuttoning her habit blouse.
Baudolino looks impressed at -- her partially exposed
breasts.
BAUDOLINO
Milkshake?
LUMPA
Yep! And mine's better than O La
La's choddo.
She stretches backward to unstrap his stilts and pushes them
over. They fall off and -- bounce on the alley cobblestone.
INT. RECEPTION ROOM - EVENING
Domino stands by the door, hands raised.
Baudolino does push-ups in the wheelchair.
DOMINO
(angry)
-- but what do I tell them? Walking
on stilts? Strapped in the
wheelchair! Fumbling with... with
Lumpa?
BAUDOLINO
(push-up grunts; funny)
She fumbled with me! I was the
victim!
Domino is emotionally troubled by his grunts. Baudolino stops
the push-ups and -- flexes his pectorals -- Domino blinks and
turns her head away.
BAUDOLINO (O.S.)
Could I please have a mirror?
DOMINO
Narcissism is not in favor here --
(pointing at his legs)
-- What happened to your... lower
quarters?
BAUDOLINO
(dressing up; pointing at
his head)
Higher quarters curiosity... paying
the price for it.
She prompts him to continue. He puts on the shirt.
BAUDOLINO
(joking)
A secret and an omen. If you want
to know them, there's a price to
pay -- I can imagine one --
DOMINO
-- stop it. I can anticipate your
sinful, prevailing animal
instincts.
BAUDOLINO
I was cursed by a curandera on a
business trip.
DOMINO
What business? Curandera in Africa?
Baudolino puffs, caught off guard.
DOMINO
What did you do to her?
BAUDOLINO
(antsy)
-- Ohh, again... my "animal
instincts"! I said I was
curious.... This Pyramid Head in
the Amazon jungle... actually a sha
woman --
DOMINO
(suppressing laughter)
-- Pyramid Head!
But she can't suppress it for long and breaks into a hearty
laughter.
DOMINO
(standing up)
That's it... brain damage. I'll
tell my sisters that nothing's
wrong with your legs, just a
nutcase condition.
She walks toward the door, then stops and turns.
DOMINO
We have nutcase sisters here.
They'll vote to give you a break...
stay a bit longer.
She leaves, closing the door with a bang.
INT. HAY STORAGE ROOM - DAY
The wheelchair and the pile of hay at the edge of the
platform. Outside, Baudolino, Lumpa, and Pippi pick apples
from a tree.
EXT. ORCHARD - CONTINUOUS
They are on high stilts.
An apple in his hand, face sunburns healed, Baudolino looks
down at the prioress who -- walks by.
BAUDOLINO
Hey, Domino!
He throws the apple -- she looks up and catches it
dexterously.
BAUDOLINO
How about if Adam gave the apple to
Eve?
Lumpa looks at him quizzically.
Domino looks at the apple, then up, about to bite, but
freezes.
DOMINO
(yelling)
Ruuun!
Two drones, four by four feet sizes, small spherical domes on
top, green and black color patterns, hover above. A high
pitch starts.
The sisters run for cover, wailing.
Lumpa covers her ears, and Pippi coughs.
PIPI
Vacca Puttana!
They run awkwardly on stilts toward the hay storage room.
Dizzy, Baudolino pulls a gun from his undershirt, points it
at the first drone -- laser dot -- and pops few shots.
The drones wobble, then crash in the alley. One of the small
spherical domes breaks away and comes to rest -- between
broken apples.
Sisters cautiously stick out their heads from doors and
windows, check the sky, then look at -- Baudolino wobbling on
stilts -- and cross themselves in gratitude.
Domino walks out of the building and looks miffed at
Baudolino's -- gun in hand. He stops at the edge of the hay
storage platform and looks inside.
Pipi and Lumpa look at the deployed sonic cover, wondering
about the hazy shapes of their bodies and hay patterns on it.
Baudolino jumps backward on the platform.
INT. RECEPTION ROOM - DAY
Baudolino peaks inside the disassembled spherical dome of the
drone using a USB light and a Fresnel lens. On a hand-drawn
schematic, he writes down codes and numbers.
On the desk, the open metal suitcase, the laptop with some
wires sticking out from the circuitry side, an open roll tool
bag, and a soldering pen kit.
A knock on the door.
BAUDOLINO
Yes?
Domino comes in wonders at -- her own moving shapes on the
partially unpacked sonic cover. She then glances over at the
desk paraphernalia.
DOMINO
(ample hands gestures)
Hmm! Complex business profile.
Guns, electronics, camel milk, and
soap, travels from the South
American jungle to the African
deserts --
Baudolino is annoyed by her adversarial attitude.
DOMINO
-- Fine! I came to say thank you
for your... performance. The
sisters are grateful. But they...
we are also concerned about the
trouble ahead.
Baudolino lowers his head, then looks at Domino, who raises
an eyebrow.
BAUDOLINO
(resigned)
The truck, then?
DOMINO
We're waiting for a message from
the driver.
BAUDOLINO
(funny)
You using pigeons for messaging?
Then we may still have time to
trade secrets.
DOMINO
(leaving)
I'm not curious. Not expecting much
from --
BAUDOLINO
-- my animal instincts.
Domino turns briskly and leaves the room slamming the door.
INT. RECEPTION ROOM - NIGHT
The USB light and Fresnel lens magnify the soldering of a
network card marked "Made in USA", other codes, and emblems
on it. A plum of smoke rises. Baudolino reclines and reviews
the wire connections and components between the drone chip
and the laptop.
He turns the laptop on the screen side and selects few icons
displayed on the schematic circuitry. The screen refreshes
and runs a list of messages and codes ending with "Adapt
frequency," "Iterations in progress," and "Frequency match,"
changing values between "43%" and 82%".
Baudolino waits hopeful for the "Connecting test". The laptop
crashes with "Co... Con... Connection failed" and turns
black. A plume of smoke rises from a small component.
Disappointed, he leans back in the wheelchair and, through
the window, contemplates the courtyard firepit fire.
In a single file, the sisters slowly walk toward the fire.
He switches off the LED light, takes a wine bottle hidden in
the wheelchair side bag -- handwritten label "2064 Syrah" --
pours some in a glass, takes a gulp, and makes himself
comfortable to watch.
In a praying stance, the sisters slowly circle the firepit,
chanting monotonously.
Baudolino dozes off.
EXT. COURTYARD - CONTINUOUS
The courtyard is lit by the new moon and a Moonlight tower
reflector. The reflector shuts off.
Chanting and circling, the sisters throw pieces of incense in
the fire -- embers and plumes of smoke rise.
Sisters' feet at the bottom of their habits, bare or with
raffia woven sandals, one with clanking clogs, one with high
heels.
In the monotonous rhythm of the chant, Lumpa falls into a
trance. She quivers, crosses hands on her belly, stops
walking, and starts singing.
LUMPA
(singing)
Madonna, Oh, Black Madonna,
Where is my place in this world?!
INT. RECEPTION ROOM - CONTINUOUS
The singing wakes Baudolino up. He watches the sisters.
EXT. COURTYARD - CONTINUOUS
Lumpa's eyelids squint closed, and teardrops form.
LUMPA
(singing)
My soul heavy, mind swirled.
LUMPA'S TRANCE
(Animation of modern, iconic rendering of The Black Madonna
holding a Black Baby Girl.)
A tear runs down from the eye's inner corner on a dark
skinned cheek.
Black Madonna, hood over her head, comforts a crying Black
Baby Girl -- a cute hair conch tied up with a pink bow. In
the background, gray ashes fall on cohorts of distressed
people walking.
BLACK MADONNA
(soothing)
Blessed are you who weep now, for
you shall laugh!
The Baby Girl stops crying, The Black Madonna dearly embraces
her, and sings a lullaby.
The gray, grim landscape gradually changes to the white
Christmas's snow melting and the spring nature blossoming.
People celebrate by joining in a happy ring dance and
laughing.
BLACK MOTHER (V.O.)
(softly chanting)
Spring is here, mark my word,
Tears dry and sadness die.
A New Baby, a New World,
Laughter's sun soon rises high.
The Baby Girl playfully applauds.
BACK TO SCENE
Dearly embraced by Marie, Lumpa gets out of trance singing
softly. Compassionate, the other sisters surround her.
LUMPA
(singing softly)
... my place in this world.
Suddenly, Lumpa starts laughing hard, gets up on the ledge of
the fire pit, takes her habit off, and throws it in the fire.
With only the bra, garters, and G-string, her pregnant belly
stands out.
Angry, Domino rushes to save the habit and bounces on Marie,
who gets it first. Marie rushes to cover and embrace Lumpa.
Lumpa raises her hands towards the sky.
LUMPA
Why do I have to cry first? I'm
young and beautiful!
The sisters step back, puzzled, except for Zuzu, who blinks.
LUMPA
The Black Madonna sang this song to
me... about the baby born to end
the doom of sadness... bring
happiness to us! Her song foretells
the coming of spring, the sun of
laughter rising in the sky. We
need... laughter!
She laughs harder, and gradually, the sisters join in the
happy laughter. Domino frowns.
EXT. COURTYARD - DAY
Sunny day, no sounds of artillery or staccato of guns.
Shadows of playful skirts, barefoot legs jumping on the
small, sandy area by the orchard. Shouts of encouragement and
effort.
Habits on, veils off, Zuzu and Bob play volleyball against
Brigid and Facunda. Zuzu is the best, Facunda the worst. Zuzu
plays with the bottom of the habit lifted and tied up with
the habit cord around her athletic legs.
On a bench, Domino watches the match passionately. Next to
her, in his wheelchair, Baudolino watches her, amused.
BAUDOLINO
Everybody is jolly today. Suddenly
quiet, no sounds of war.
Domino raises an eyebrow.
DOMINO
(mocking)
Too quiet for you, hah? No drones
to shoot at, no excitement?
BAUDOLINO
Aeh! Had enough excitement last
night. Didn't know your sisters
could ... laugh this hard.
Frowning, she straightens up.
DOMINO
(incredulous)
Did you --
BAUDOLINO
-- Yep! Could not take my eyes --
DOMINO
(stern)
-- I know. Don't mention it. I'll
have to straighten that up with
her... and Marie.
Facunda wants to give up playing and nods at Domino.
Domino stands up. Baudolino watches, with increasing
interest, her lifting the bottom of her habit and tying it up
around her legs. She takes off the sandals.
Feet moving, knees bent, and hands out in front, she follows
the ball, ready to hit. But Brigid gets most of them.
A ball rises high in the sky, then falls, and, when in mid
air trajectory, a hand slams it down.
From a surprisingly high vertical jump, Domino slams the ball
hard, as a professional player would.
Baudolino is aghast.
EXT. CONVENT ALLEYS - LATER
Bare feet walking along the crawler track rolling.
Sandals in her hand, Domino walks along Baudolino's
wheelchair. She wipes off the sweat from her brow.
BAUDOLINO
You may be a nutcase yourself. How
did you... get here? And the
sisters?
DOMINO
You won't give up curiosity!
-- I, we believe in the diversity
of thought... and souls. A New Age
faith. -- The truck from Saylac is
due tomorrow. It'll take you to
Lawyacado.
She keeps walking. Baudolino stops rolling. She turns with a
blank look on her face.
BAUDOLINO
I need to show you something.
INT. RECEPTION ROOM - LATER
Baudolino points at the desk with the laptop and connecting
wires to components.
Domino waits in the door frame.
BAUDOLINO
I couldn't make this work. I need
to connect.
DOMINO
The driver has a phone.
Baudolino is silent, unsure about it.
DOMINO
Fine. Follow me.
INT. DOMINO'S ROOM - LATER
Domino enters the room, followed by Baudolino. He looks
around and puckers his lips, surprised.
He rolls towards a big canopy bed with sculpted bedposts. On
the wall towards the courtyard, few framed photos. On the
opposite wall, religious artifacts and a poster.
DOMINO
(touching a bedpost)
The only thing that I've kept from
my mother...
(emotional; pointing at
photos)
... and memories....
She gets to and points at a richly decorated frame -- a
wealthy couple, he with a colorful fez, shawl, modern
sunglasses, and short trimmed beard, she, a chique woman.
DOMINO
(hesitating)
My mother... left France for
Somaliland.
In the next picture, the silhouettes of two women, one in a
nun's habit, the other in a flashy dress.
DOMINO
(pointing at the nun)
My aunt... prompted me to study
theology... L'Institut Catholique.
Baudolino waits for her to continue.
DOMINO
(lively; ample hands
gestures)
But theosophy seemed more
interesting, and I've landed a
grant from the Rosicrucian Order
University.
(pointing at next photo)
-- played beach volleyball... had a
bad experience with a Master....
(smirk)
A man of your likes.
Baudolino frowns, doesn't know how to take that.
DOMINO
The Masters of the fourth order
were guiding us, the third-order
people, to experience God's grace
by reaching... exalted states.
BAUDOLINO
Did you?
She ignores his question.
DOMINO
My stepfather fixed up this place
from ruin. The monarchy was
instated, and this place was
destroyed... again and ... my
parents got killed.
She sits on the rough wooden bench under the photos. She
rests her hand on a stack of newspapers -- the photo of a
monarch and "The King Fires Consortium" title -- on the front
page. Long silence.
DOMINO
(looking at the paper)
He gave me a concession to start
this convent, provided that all
religions are represented -- sort
of a political decision.
BAUDOLINO
Mulling each religious group for
the best they can offer. He's an
apiarian, then.
DOMINO
Apiarian?
BAUDOLINO
Like Jefferson. Whatever the bees'
colony has to offer.
He gets closer, takes her hand, and looks into her eyes.
DOMINO
Your wants are bad for me... and my
sisters, despite the... temporary
appearances -- And I'd like just to
know who you are... not to know you
better!
BAUDOLINO
(reluctant)
CIA. Undercover.
Delivered some goods to a bedouin
clan. We were attacked, they fled,
and I was left behind.
With go-figure body language, Domino stands up and walks
around Baudolino toward the Temple of the Rose Cross
Rosicrucian lithography -- "Sane Mind Soft Heart Sound Body"
-- motto underneath.
BAUDOLINO
Rosicrucian. Hmm.
Domino ignores him and points at the -- big monitor on the
wall by the door.
DOMINO
You needed to communicate.
She brings her face close to the monitor, and the
"Universalist Sisterhood-UNISIS Convent" website comes up.
Messages in French scroll in the Message Box, and the most
recent "Routes dégagées, arrivée matinale," flashes on.
DOMINO
The roads are clear. The truck
arrives tomorrow morning.
She invites him to use the computer, and he gets in front of
it. Domino types in a pass to add him as user. He types in
the browser URL "Unlimited Friendship Organization".
On the U.F.O. WEBSITE: the world map, dots on various
countries, photos of projects. On the side, protection,
encryption, video and audio messaging apps, Baudolino's face
in the "Face Biometrics" window, the interlocutor's one dark.
DOMINO
Do you want me to step out?
BAUDOLINO (V.O.)
No need to. I'm just letting them
know about tomorrow.
She leans against the wall by the lithography and stares at --
his profile. With gentle feelings, she cocks her head and,
walking behind him, caresses his shoulders without touching.
INT. RECEPTION ROOM - MORNING
Baudolino sleeps. The noise of tanks rolling and automatic
weapons firing wakes him up. Convent alarm bells ring.
EXT. CONVENT ALLEY - LATER
Hens run agitated. Baudolino rolls towards the gate, wearing
the handcrafted pants and a gun holster belt strapped around
his bare chest.
Nuns flee for cover. The noise of bullets hitting the gate
intensifies.
ATTACKER 1 (O.S.)
(in Arabic; subtitles)
Open the gate!
EXT. INSIDE/OUTSIDE GATE - MORNING
With upper body athletics, Baudolino gets up the side stairs
and fits the stilts on.
BAUDOLINO
(in Arabic; subtitled)
May The All Mighty give you
patience. Coming up in a minute!
He looks over the gate at the -- THREE ARMED MEN, clothing
smeared in crude oil, chewing on something, and slightly
wavering.
BAUDOLINO
(in Arabic; subtitled)
May The All Mighty also give you
clean clothes.
On stilts, Lumpa joins him at the gate. She opens one of the
doors and cautiously looks out, keeping her head hidden.
ATTACKER 1 (O.S.)
(harsh voice; in Arabic;
subtitled)
Foreigner, how dare you speak in
the tongue of great Allah?
Baudolino lowers his head below the top of the gate.
BAUDOLINO
(to Lumpa)
They look like oilmen to me, not
terrorists.
LUMPA
SoHo soldiers, Somali Holy Spirit
Movement -- pure souls, believe
that oil protects them from
bullets.
ATTACKER 2 (O.S.)
(high-pitch voice; in
Arabic; subtitled)
Open the gate!
BAUDOLINO
(to Lumpa)
Why do they waver? Drunk?
A spray of bullets hits the gate.
LUMPA
(nodding)
From chewing qat.
ATTACKER 1(30), burly and short, and ATTACKER 2(16), slim and
tall, raise their automatic guns while waving off the --
flies attracted by the oil. ATTACKER 3(18), funny-handsome
look, baseball cap on, keeps chewing and squinting towards
the -- open door and Lumpa's partially visible profile.
Baudolino sticks his head above the gate.
BAUDOLINO
(in Arabic; subtitled)
Why aren't you working in the
oilfields, 'cause there's more
moolah in oil than bullets.
ATTACKER 1
(in Arabic; subtitled)
Joking shows foolishness and
arrogance, American man -- I see
that by your hat.
ATTACKER 3 rushes to take off his baseball hat and hide it in
the back of his pants.
BAUDOLINO
(in Arabic; subtitled)
You seem to be an intelligent man.
Are you the leader?
All attackers raise one hand but hesitantly lower them after
looking at each other.
BAUDOLINO
I know that your consorts do not
like your chewing qat. -- And
believe me... the nuns in here are
more ferocious than your wives.
They asked me to tell you that it
was good for you to come, but it
was better if you didn't come at
all.
The attackers argue among themselves. Attacker 3 wants to go
away.
BAUDOLINO
(in Arabic; subtitles)
So now I'm asking you, how can I
make you go away? By making you
laugh or cry?
ATTACKER 1
(in Arabic; subtitled)
Our Prophet says, "Do not laugh,
for laughing too much deadens the
heart."
BAUDOLINO
(in Arabic; subtitled)
Have no choice then!
Baudolino fires his gun. Lumpa tries to stop him.
Bullets hit and splash the sand in front of the attackers.
Attackers 1 and 2 run toward the truck. Attacker 3 cocks his
head and -- smiles sheepishly towards the high door.
Lumpa sticks her head over the gate.
The attackers' truck revs, then stop. Attacker 3 throws one
last glance toward Lumpa, then joins the others. The truck
speeds away while bullets splash behind.
EXT. CONVENT ALLEY - LATER
Baudolino walks on stilts toward the sisters. They watch him
from the frames of their rooms and windows. Domino walks
towards him.
BAUDOLINO
(looking down at Domino)
Voila!
DOMINO
(to herself)
Fearless, hah!
She applauds. The other sisters join her and surround him.
SISTERS
Wunderbar! Subarashi! Meraviglioso!
INT. RECEPTION ROOM - LATER
Dressed in his white linen suit, Baudolino closes the laptop
suitcase and places it in the wheelchair holder.
In a farewell mood, he glances around at the new age
religious posters -- calendar marked "May 2067".
Domino comes in without knocking, sits, and crosses her hands
on her lap. They look at each other. Long silence.
DOMINO
The sisters say you're good for us,
a good man. And that... it would be
best if you stay, as long as you
want.
BAUDOLINO
They want me for themselves, not
for my sake. So much about
compassion -- Do you want me to
stay?
Domino stands up and paces the room.
DOMINO
The road was blocked. We'll have to
wait. Make the best of your time.
Baudolino bursts into ironic laughter.
BAUDOLINO
No time left for best time. -- I
wanted to know better The Queen of
the bees' nest. I am an apiarian as
well.
DOMINO
(neutral)
I have to prepare the boxes for the
truck.
She leaves and closes the -- door, slowly.
- LATER
Baudolino meditates in front of the courtyard's open window.
The sun is about to set.
Domino comes in. Baudolino slowly gets out of meditating and
looks at her questioningly. She shakes her head.
BAUDOLINO
More time to kill? Tell me then
about the other bees in this nest.
DOMINO
Took me years to gather them,
promoting a New Age Faith,
accepting diversity in worship and
free of dogmas. That's what opens
the way toward a universal
consciousness harmony.
BAUDOLINO
Bah! Consciousness! Universal
harmony again! You say no dogma,
but you just stated one. I don't
believe in dogmas.
DOMINO
Ooh-la-la! What's wrong with
believing in something? What's to
be afraid of?
Baudolino is taken aback by a painful recollection.
BAUDOLINO
In my case... I'm simply afraid
of... yes... touching the --
Marie bursts into the room. She is surprised by Domino's
presence.
MARIE
I was looking for Lumpa! She's
nowhere to be found.
Domino stands up and gets Marie outside.
INT/EXT. BUILDING - CONTINUOUS
They walk to the open door toward the alley.
DOMINO
More trouble. You shouldn't have
brought her in!
MARIE
You liked her... diversity. A
Marianist, Black Army of Lady Mary.
Fugi waits outside. On the alley, stacks of boxes with the
sisters' merchandise.
FUGI
Last time I saw her was at noon.
She points at the gate -- locking bar on the ground. The honk
of a car outside. Fugi runs toward the gate.
Domino re-enters the building.
INT. RECEPTION ROOM - SUNSET
DOMINO
(from the door frame)
You were saying... afraid of
touching what?
BAUDOLINO
Never mind.
DOMINO
Lumpa fled. Are you going to miss
her?
BAUDOLINO
Not on my alley. After all, she was
in cahoots with one of the
attackers.
Silence. The backup alarm of a truck beeps outside. There
isn't much they want to say to each other. They look into
each other's eyes with mixed emotions. She snaps out of hers
and leaves.
EXT. CONVENT ALLEY - SUNSET
Baudolino rolls towards the truck. The sisters walk up the
truck ramp with stacks of fabric, glass jars, and boxes.
Marie pushes a cart with a box of wine bottles.
Domino talks with the DRIVER (50), bearded man, nudges
towards Baudolino, and gets a stack of newspapers, envelopes,
and a basket.
Baudolino waits at the foot of the ramp. Domino walks back
and stops by him. She looks down, he up.
The sisters throw them furtive glances. Marie watches them
sorrowfully.
DOMINO
(morose)
We've never traded secrets, omens.
BAUDOLINO
(mild derision)
You were not curious -- But thank
you for your hospitality.
He waves, smiling at sisters. Domino walks towards Marie.
Marie raises her hand, waving hesitantly. Pipi waves
sorrowfully.
DOMINO
(to Marie)
Men are humans, though... as well.
This one, fearless and... fearful
... of something.
Baudolino rolls up the truck ramp.
DOMINO (O.S.)
(forceful)
Hold on right there!
The driver looks over, surprised -- open mouth with a couple
of teeth missing.
DOMINO
I am curious!
INT. RECEPTION ROOM - NIGHT
Domino stands by the window, listening and shaking her head
in disbelief. In the courtyard, ember smolders in the fire
pit, and the moon is in the Waning Gibbous phase.
BAUDOLINO
... So, Pecker touched... mine and
dropped dead!
DOMINO
(funny)
Something wrong with him or...
your... ?
Baudolino is surprised by the pun and laughs. Domino
suppresses hers.
DOMINO
Look! By the power of God, you were
made to walk in life the way you
want!
BAUDOLINO
Yeah, but there is no certification
on record.
DOMINO
(serious)
Do you think the omen's power is
greater than God's will? Fear
drives your mind to the dark side
and weakens your powers.
(thoughtful)
-- But her secret about laughter...
Universal Consciousness harmony...
may be a fulfilling prophesy. And
God would like that!
BAUDOLINO
(incredulous)
She didn't say "consciousness", you
did. And humanity in harmony with
me in the wheelchair? For life?
DOMINO
(passionate))
I wonder, if you turn her secret
into a widely disclosed prophecy,
then the omen should disappear. I'd
be curious about that.
BAUDOLINO
This kind of curiosity inflames
your senses. Is there anything else
that could fan your flames?
Taken aback by a possible realization, she bends over and,
profile close to Baudolino's, gently touches his cheek with
her fingers. She looks into his -- crossed eyes.
DOMINO
You came back just for that, then.
-- Can't clearly see into your
soul... through your crossed eyes.
He lightly kisses her on the upper lip. She doesn't respond,
nor does she move away. She straightens up and slowly walks
out of the room.
BAUDOLINO
(to the closed door)
Take one eye at a time.
INT. CHAPEL - LATER
Domino prays at the Universal God painting above the altar.
She fingers a ROSARY made from a string with KNOTS and ROSES.
Facunda lights up the candles under the religious icons and
symbols of various Christian, Muslim, and Buddhist beliefs.
DOMINO
Masters! Clear the eyes of my body,
soul, and mind to see the
brightness of God's clemency and
wisdom....May God forgive me for
breaking my tranquility by
listening to men's blasphemies. May
God help me distinguish between
false and true prophecies. May God
strengthen my resolve on the
crossroads ahead....And I... I will
take responsibility for what
happens along the way. Amen.
INT. WORKROOM - DAY
Sisters chat while working on their crafts. Zuzu does yoga on
a mattress next to the bike.
MARIE
(resigned)
If we get to like him more...,
he'll break our hearts when he
feels like leaving.
Domino is flustered.
BADIA
We gave him hospitality days and
were rewarded. He was good to us.
He proves that the light of beauty
exists in the darkness of the ugly.
ZUZU
He's not ugly. His mind, though, is
in darkness.
BADIA
We should bring light --
FACUNDA
-- we could dispel the omen.
Sisters stop working. Domino is enlightened. Marie makes the
sign of the cross.
MARIE
(upset)
Didn't we have enough of Lumpa's
blasphemy and evil laughter?
Domino nods at Marie in apparent agreement, then discretely
signals at Facunda and Badia, who -- nod in response.
ZUZU
What's wrong with her vision? She
made us all laugh. Our laughter was
a sign of relief from the
deprivation around here.
DOMINO
Marie is right. Let us carry on
with our work. We need to sort out
the crafts in the storage bay.
INT. CRAFTS ROOM - LATER
Facunda rummages through the boxes with artifacts.
FACUNDA
I know what we need. But it must be
at full moon. And he's not supposed
to know about it.
DOMINO
We have to be careful. He carries
the spirit of a prophecy that we
want fulfilled. So, it's more
like... brain surgery, protect the
spirit, clear the omen, the fear.
BADIA
I'll talk with Brighid. She knows
few strong dispels.
INT. DOMINO'S ROOM - NIGHT
(The action and dialogue are mixed with and enabled by
computer communication apps. Bobby's digital text-to-voice
sounds robotic, devoid of inflections.)
Baudolino in front of the computer, U.F.O. website,
"Encryption" on, two "Face Biometrics" windows active --
Boby's face warped.
BAUDOLINO
Looking good, as usual.
BOBBY CASE (V.O.)
(digital aberration)
Dhraagh goh warrrs baoue,
drajbourrrrteee.... Dee-htager.
Annoyed, Baudolino checks "Text," "Voice," and "Both Ways,"
arrows, then writes in the text box "Let's turn on text and
voice both ways."
BAUDOLINO
Sorry about the volte-face
yesterday.
Baudolino's voice-to-text scrolls. Bobby Case's face keeps
warping slowly.
BOBBY CASE (V.O.)
(robotic voice)
Got your message just now. Lucky
you didn't come. Russians bought
the land, gave notice to vacate the
Italian Center. Where are you now.
Bobby Case's voice-to-text scrolls, and his face in the
biometrics steadies.
BAUDOLINO
At a convent. The prioress changed
her mind, and so did I.
BOBBY CASE
(robotic voice)
Your brains deserted you in the
desert. You doing it with a nun.
Did she convert you.
Baudolino hesitates, turns, and looks at the -- Rosicrucian
poster.
BAUDOLINO
Rosicrucianism. You know, altered
states and ecstasy. -- Where are
you now?
BOBBY CASE (V.O.)
(robotic voice)
-- On your aunt's patio.
His face turns to send a kiss.
BAUDOLINO
What? Wait... what are you doing
there?
Domino comes in, gets behind Baudolino, and listens.
BOBBY CASE (V.O.)
(robotic voice)
Auntie. Gorgeous woman. Took
sensors off her brain. Couldn't
escape temptation.
DOMINO
Auntie?
BAUDOLINO
(to Bobby)
Have to go now. I'll ping you
later.
He terminates the communication. Domino puts her hand on his
shoulder then faces him, a question in her eyes.
BAUDOLINO
One more little secret. You getting
curious nowadays?
She whacks him playfully, then gets her profile close to his,
her eyes lighted by a warm smile. He is surprised by the
hopeful meaning.
She walks to and lies in bed. He rolls toward her.
Amused, she waves him away.
DOMINO
(romantic)
I am really. Tomorrow night... at
full moon.
EXT. COURTYARD - NIGHT
Yellow full moon above the convent. Few clouds in the sky.
Afar, beyond the distant dunes, rumble and lights of
artillery.
Domino, on the firepit slab, chats with Baudolino.
DOMINO
... but I want to ask you about
Lumpa's --
BAUDOLINO
-- Oh, not Lumpa again --
DOMINO
-- Wait. It's about her vesper
vision. The Black Madonna
prophecy...
In a visionary state, she gently squeezes his leg.
DOMINO
... the New Baby, a universal
consciousness harmony brought by
laughter -- The end of the doom
then?
BAUDOLINO
(hopeful)
And the end of the doom between us?
She stands up and, with a promising smile, invites him to
follow.
Hand on his shoulder, she guides him toward the Moonlight
tower building.
INT. CRAFTS ROOM - NIGHT
She slides open the door toward the hay storage.
Baudolino, still in the middle of the craft room, tips his
head toward -- the rack with wine bottles. Domino nods and
goes to get one.
INT. HAY STORAGE BAY - NIGHT
In the middle of the room, Baudolino grabs Domino's hand to
draw her attention to -- the pile of hay. She shakes her head
and waves him toward the tower's stairs.
Demonstratively, he bumps the wheelchair against the
stairwell walls -- narrower than the wheelchair tracks.
Domino is taken aback, she didn't think about that, but she
smartens up.
DOMINO
I was counting on your Cirque du
Monde abilities.
Baudolino nods and gets upside down on his hands. Domino
applauds. One stone step and hand at a time, he disappears
around the stairwell.
Higher up, the last metal steps get him to the floor of the
tower. Dark room.
INT. MOONLIGHT TOWER - CONTINUOUS
Domino goes around and guides him by his feet to a two-foot
platform in the middle of the room.
Upside down, Baudolino sees only -- Domino's bottom habit and
her feet.
DOMINO
There is a platform right behind
you. Let yourself lie down on your
back, slowly.
BAUDOLINO
No nuptial bed?
He bends backward and ends up with his head under her skirt.
She rushes to remove it from his head.
BAUDOLINO
Promising landscape!
DOMINO
(to herself)
Dirty mind.
The platform he lies on is made of square photoelectric
plates. Above him, the dome made of Fresnel lenses, some
intact, some damaged. The moon comes out of a cloud and forms
concentric light circles through a lens.
He looks around. On both sides of the platform, thick cables
ascend to electrical control boxes on the walls. On the
walls, schematics and safety signs.
Facunda, Brighid, and Badia emerge from the dark end of the
room and line up at the platform by his feet.
BAUDOLINO
(agitated; at Domino)
What's this now?
At Baudolino's head, Domino shushes him gently and sweeps --
his front with a small rug. He inhales, then grunts.
BAUDOLINO
(annoyed)
First Rape, now rape!
The anesthetic takes effect, and he relaxes.
BAUDOLINO
(satisfied)
OK by me!
Illuminated by concentric refractions, he passes out. Domino
nods at sisters.
Facunda places two Santos dolls by his legs, breaks an egg in
a jar with liquid, and nears it to his left leg.
The egg forms a faint, white web and roundish yoke. She nods,
looking at Domino, and continues walking towards his head,
followed by Brighid and Badia.
At the head, the egg white gets spider-ish and the yoke
spiky. Facunda nods at Domino, who -- crosses herself. Badia
and Brighid do the same.
Brighid places a Brigid cross on Baudolino's -- head front
illuminated by the focal spot of another lens. Facunda and
Badia continue walking around and stop at Baudolino's feet.
BRIGHID
Saint Brigid, you brought light to
the darkness. You brought hope to
the downcast. May the mantle of
your grace clear the fog in this
man's brain --
Facunda throws the content of the jar on the floor. Sparks
and small plumes of smoke from an electrical cable and
control panel. The sisters jolt, then resume the dispel.
BRIGHID
-- bless the hidden light of the
prophecy for harmony in this world.
Badia places -- a Voodoo doll -- between Baudolino's legs,
then joins Badia and Facunda.
BADIA
Papa Legba, gatekeeper of the
destiny doors to the spaces and
times of the Earth. Retrace and
undo the spell that haunts this
man.
She sticks needles in the Voodoo doll's legs. Facunda breaks
another egg into the jar liquid.
BADIA
Show him the door to the clean room
in his head and a happy future for
himself and humanity.
FACUNDA
My blessed Guardian Angel. I
believe, and I adore you. I ask
pardon for this man who doesn't
believe nor love. But he will!
I offer my love insofar as to
obtain the favor of lifting the
omens from the duende.
The three sisters start a new round and stop at Baudolino's
head. Facunda's jar shows -- a transparent white egg cleanly
surrounded by a round yoke. Facunda smiles and nods at
Domino, who -- thanks in prayer to each sister as they leave.
Domino wraps the string knotted rosary around her hands,
kneels, and lowers her head next to Baudolino's.
DOMINO
Mother of God, forgive my sisters
for their pagan rituals. Mother of
God, shine in mercy, might, and
grace to heal this man. Make the
prophecies of laughter come true,
make laughter a unifying bond
between humans to heal the souls
and brighten lives.
Free me from passion, desire, and
guide my curiosity. Let us enjoy
the fruit of knowledge, do not
exile us, for we need to
contemplate the heaven of Universal
Consciousness.
Baudolino convulses -- Brighid cross falls from his head, and
he -- opens his straight-looking eyes.
She stands up and helps him turn around. He sees the cross,
Voodoo doll, and the jar and, understanding what has
happened, shakes his head. She waits for him, hands extended.
DOMINO
God made you to walk in life the
way you want! Get up.
Sitting on the platform edge, he looks down at his feet.
Domino prompts him to dare. Hesitating, he stands up, holding
Domino's hands.
They wait, standing, looking at each other, she astonished by
-- his straight-looking eyes.
She hugs him, rejoicing. Tears burst out of Baudolino's eyes.
They walk toward the stairs and, supported by Domino,
Baudolino climbs down the first step, then one more. He
collapses and falls down disappearing around the stairwell.
BLACK
DOMINO (O.S.)
(scream)
Aaaaeeegh!
INT. RECEPTION ROOM - DAY
Domino sits next to Baudolino, who lies in bed. He twitches.
BAUDOLINO LUCID DREAM
In Baudolino's state between wakefulness and sleep,
subliminal, warped images of Pyramid Head, Mama Quilla, and
the sisters' omen dispel ritual.
BACK TO SCENE
He blinks and wakes up.
Domino stands up smiling and gives him a mirror with a richly
decorated frame.
DOMINO
You fainted... but look!
He sees his -- straight eyes -- and looks at Domino,
confused.
DOMINO
The dispel worked! But still... you
fainted. It may not have been
strong enough.
He gets out of bed, looks down at -- his feet about to touch
the floor, then at -- Domino, who nods encouragingly.
He rests his feet on the floor, then stands up and looks
around. The stretcher is beside the bed, but the wheelchair
is not in the room. His chutzpah returns.
BAUDOLINO
I remember your embrace! So, what's
next?
She shakes her head jolly, ignoring his meaning.
DOMINO
Well, make the secret public. It's
a good prophecy, after all.
BAUDOLINO
Vraiment? Public? In politics, hah?
Make laughter my ... political
platform?
DOMINO
Maybe. Let's check the other
options.
INT. CORRIDOR
They walk by the open door of the workroom. From their desks,
Pippi and Marie see them, the first waves, the second nods.
INT. WORKROOM - CONTINUOUS
PIPPI
(to Facunda)
Lumpa was laughing. And we -- it
felt good.
MARIE
Blasphemy!
BADIA
No! It's a true prophecy.
ZUZU
(in Yoga posture)
What's wrong with laughing? We
should plan to --
MARIE
-- God laughs at those making
plans. It's all in God's hands.
PIPPI
But what if you don't feel like
laughing?
Zuzu changes her Yoga posture to deep breathing.
ZUZU
You just sit, aware of your
breathing sound... coming in...
going out. After a while, you'll
start smiling... be mindful of it!
Then...
you realize there's no reason to
smile... and that'll make you
laugh.
INT. DOMINO'S ROOM - LATER
Domino sits in front of the monitor. On the side of the
generic browser, windows of T.V. channels broadcasting scenes
of demonstrations, war in the world, and panel discussions.
DOMINO
Sick and tired of it! Goodle, go to
home.
The screen changes to the Universalist Sisterhood-UNISIS
website.
BAUDOLINO (O.S.)
I don't believe in either
prophecies or politics... same
thing, actually.
DOMINO
Maybe you should. Take everything
with a grain of salt... or
laughter. -- After all, laughter
has roots in wit. And deep roots in
intelligence, says Henri Bergson.
(to monitor)
Goodle, search for true prophecies!
COMPUTER SCREEN: A list of organic searches, amongst which,
"Fatima 2067- The Fulness of Truth", "2060 - The Victorian
Steampunk Tarot Symposium", and "Seattle 2067 - JEE Joint
Essential Eschatology Conference".
BAUDOLINO
(getting closer)
Check Seattle!
They both read over JEE landing page with the Mission
Statement, History, and conference ads.
DOMINO
(reading)
See, everything is about doomsdays.
Fiat Tenebris!
Ours is about Fiat Risus. Let There
Be Laughter! -- We have to go to
Seattle, together. You owe it to
me!
BAUDOLINO
(wishful)
So, we go public with the laughter
prophecy, and the doom stops!
People get inspired instantly and
joyfully live forever. Right?
DOMINO
Be curious about it. Believe, and
it will come true!...After all,
it's your interest to make public
the Pyramid Head's secret.
INT. HOUSE OF RELIGIONS - AUDITORIUM - DAY
A 5000-capacity auditorium with a low-level balcony. MEN and
WOMEN in a colorful mixture of ethnic, clerical, military,
paramilitary, business and government people. Television
CAMERAMEN and streaming VIDEOGRAPHERS roam around. Big
monitors around the walls of the auditorium.
At the podium lectern, a PRESENTER (60), scientist looks,
white beard, with a bowtie. Behind him, COMMITTEE MEMBERS on
chairs.
The large electronic voting billboard above displays "Joint
Essential Eschatology - JEE! SEATTLE 2067- The Right to
Prophesy for All" and the prophecy title "Nuclear winter will
fall on Earth". Underneath, red, yellow, and blue LEDs
flicker continuously as the Presenter talks.
PRESENTER
-- That's when the devil takes over
the world, and the nuclear ashes
fall on Earth.
The Cameramen and Videographers rush closer to the podium.
BALCONY MAN(30), tattoos on the neck, raises his hands, one
holding a sandwich, the other a remote device, and shouts
from the balcony.
BALCONY MAN
(towards the Presenter)
We heard that 50 years ago --
The voting billboard turns dominantly yellow, some red and
blue. The audience vociferates.
BALCONY MAN
-- seen it on the 2017's Doomsday
Clock.
This is plagiarism, not prophecy.
False prophecy! Enough with doom!
FLOOR MAN (50), business attire, shouts at the Balcony Man.
FLOOR MAN
It's a true prophecy! Just
strengthen the original one. The
warmongers of the world must be
eliminated then!
The Balcony Man throws the sandwich at Floor Man. Strong
verbal exchanges start between the floor and balcony people.
The CONFERENCE MASTER (60), clerical robe, knocks his scepter
on the stage floor to calm the audience. Above, the voting
billboard displays "Nuclear ashes will fall on Earth," the
tally of dots, "3253" blue, "1017" red "85" yellow, and the
verdict "True Prophecy".
Applauds and boos from the audience. People take pics and
selfies with the billboard background.
EXT. HOUSE OF RELIGIONS - SQUARE - LAWN - CONTINUOUS
The House of Religions building billboard "Nuclear ashes will
fall on Earth" prophecy scrolls on, followed by the vote
tally and the "True Prophecy" verdict.
A group of YOUNG PROTESTERS on the square's lawn, carrying
"Doom Dull" "War Yore" handwritten placards, boos at the
verdict.
A TEENAGER BOY takes a selfie against the billboard
background. His TEENAGE GIRLFRIEND, holding a big cute baby
helium balloon "Bud Anew!", embraces TEENAGE friends coming
from a street rally.
On the street rally, a large crowd of diverse political,
economic, gender, and ethnic PEOPLE carry "Climate Change
Kills," "Free Immigration,"Apocalyptic Government," "Seattle
is not Atlantis" banners. POLICEMEN line up to maintain
order. T.V. News helicopters and a Goodyear balloon hover
above.
"Universal Consciousness Harmony" scrolls on the billboard.
The lawn protesters rejoice.
The Teenager Boy, Girl, and some protesters take selfies and
- post them on social media.
Attracted by the billboard, rally people join the lawn
protesters in increasing numbers.
INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY
Domino at the lectern. On the billboard above, "Universal
Consciousness Harmony". The noise in the audience subsides.
DOMINO
(soothing)
Why is it that we have a Joint
Eschatology conference? To hear
just the doomsday prophecies?
(ironical)
How Essential are they?... Jeee!
Laughter in the audience.
DOMINO
(upset; gesticulating)
So many of them stuck in our brains
that we start believing in them.
And guess what? They become
true!...So --
(raising a hand's fist;
energized)
-- Stop the Doom! No Doom!
Next to her, Baudolino, in casual attire, drives the
audience's cheers.
AUDIENCE PEOPLE
(some raising fists)
No doom! No doom!
DOMINO
We present two similar prophecies,
The first coming from Mother Black
Mary.
Women in the audience applaud, yell and take selfies.
Domino invites Baudolino.
BAUDOLINO
The second comes from Pyramid Head
shaman --
The audience boos, and the voting billboard turns red.
BAUDOLINO
-- actually a shaman woman --
Yelling of approval from the audience -- mostly women.
Scattered blue dots on the billboard.
BAUDOLINO
-- who regressed as the Incan Mama
Quilla godess, to bring to life the
prophecy of the Old Man Creator of
the World.
Applauds and shouts from the audience -- mostly men.
Scattered blue dots on the billboard.
Baudolino invites Domino at the lectern.
DOMINO
During the vesper of our
Universalist Sisterhood, our
sister, a devout member of the
Black Army of Lady Mary, had the
vision of Mother Black Mary's
prophecy.
The billboard LEDs flicker between yellow and blue.
DOMINO
Unlike all the prophesies we heard
today, the ones we bring forth are
about healing the doom....
(pointing to outside;
taking a deep breath)
They hold the key to the beginning
of the Universal Consciousness Era
and --
The audience vociferates -- people show either disbelief or
annoyance.
From a back row, a MILITARY MAN (45), takes a video selfie on
the background of a monitor.
Baudolino signals to Domino to let him speak.
BAUDOLINO
-- we need a strong political will
to promote it. The present-day
Governments are quick to advertise
their quantitative "administrative
intelligence" and forget about the
qualitative --
MILITARY MAN
(shouting)
-- Governmental prognoses are based
on complex, hard data, not fuzzy --
A woman's bag hits the Military Man on the chest and knocks
off his phone.
The Military Man defends himself, tries to get the WOMAN (60)
to sit down, and knocks -- her glasses off. The fight spreads
to the PEOPLE in the front and back rows.
A SECURITY FLOOR GUARD intervenes but can't stop the brawl.
He speaks on the mic.
SECURITY ROOM - CONTINUOUS
SECURITY FLOOR GUARD (V.O.)
(through speakers)
Sector T45, calls for support, I
repeat Sector T45.
THREE SECURITY GUARDS, two standalone MONITORS, and a large
MULTIMEDIA WALL. GUARD 1 (40), solid build, plays a video
game on his workstation. GUARD 2 eats while watching his
monitor. GUARD 3 surveys the multimedia SCREENS with views
from the auditorium, lawn protesters, street rallies, and
T.V. channels.
Guard 1 stops playing the game, touches digital controls and
zooms in on the troubled area of the auditorium.
GUARD 1
(on the mic)
Support is on the way. Will call
police to back up on standby.
He touches a few more controls and nods at Guard 2. The
latter stops eating, throws the wrappings in a garbage
basket, wipes his mouth, and slowly gets out of the room.
GUARD 1
Calling for standby at exits 44
through 46. Confirm deployment.
GUARD 3 zooms in on the STREET RALLY SCREEN: Attracted by the
display board, people leave the street rally en masse and
overcrowd the square. ANTI-RIOT TROOPS deploy along the curb
to protect the premise.
He browses T.V. CHANNELS: Anchors speaking, texts scrolling
"Hate Spikes with Temperature Rise," images of explosions in
other parts of the world "War in Somaliland ends Monarchy".
He switches to the AUDITORIUM SCREEN: Zooms in on Domino
looking at Baudolino, who --
AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS
-- leans over the lectern.
BAUDOLINO
...The political platforms should
promote the Universal Consciousness
values --
(looking at Domino)
DOMINO
-- the awareness of self extended
to those of others....We need
rationality and a sense of humor
now! Let's flip the switch!
AUDIENCE PEOPLE
(loudly; annoyed; angry)
Prophecy! What is the prophecy!
BAUDOLINO
(bending over the mic)
People of the World, relax!
Domino slowly raises her arms to quiet the audience.
DOMINO
The prophecy!
DOMINO
(prophetic hand gesture)
The Universal Consciousness Harmony
era... needs... laughter! Laughter!
Now!
Lasting, complete silence in the audience. The billboard
scrolls the "Universal Consciousness Harmony Needs Laughter!"
People are stunned, some smirk. The silence persists.
The Balcony Man sweeps clean the hands on his shirt and
starts laughing.
Floor Man looks up at -- the Balcony Man -- thumbs him up,
and starts laughing as well.
The laughter spreads from people to groups and to the whole
audience.
DOMINO (O.S.)
(loud speakers)
Laughter for Harmony! Laughter!
The voting billboard tallies up "3574" blue, "493" red, "504"
yellow. The "True Prophecy" verdict blinks.
EXT. SQUARE - CONTINUOUS
The street rally stopped and its people overcrowded the
square and the neighboring streets.
People point at the billboard, take selfies, and laugh.
Laughter spreads from the people on the lawn, square and
neighboring streets to -- policemen and anti-riot troops.
Banners are dropped. Some people speak with the police and
military men. Pats on shoulders, hugs, and laughs.
SECURITY ROOM
On a media wall MONITOR: Domino and Baudolino kiss at the
lectern.
Guard 3 laughs while switching to T.V. CHANNELS: World News
Anchor 1 broadcasts smiling over scrolling text "Militia
disarm voluntarily in Bujumbura...", Seattle News Anchor 2
and studio panel guests laugh over "JEE Seattle 2067 Laughter
Prophecy..." scrolling text. Further videos of House of
Religions, police, and rioters embracing, chatting, and
laughing over "People take laughter seriously..." text
scrolling.
EXT. SQUARE - CONTINUOUS
Above the crowd of people dancing on the streets, STREET
BILLBOARDS flash "Amazing Prophesy Disclosure," "Prophecy
Stops Doom Instantly," the Goodyear blimp LEDs scrolls
"Laughter! Laughter!"
On people's social media PHONE APPS: -- fingers scroll, text,
hashtag, or stop at "Universal Consciousness Laughter?",
"Doom's Over!", "Laugh at That?" posts.
END
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